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#1
Aug 28, 2005, 08:59 PM
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Last night i was on the fone with my friend who's grandfather died. Want to know more its in greivence and loss. Well She was talking and i know she was venting but the big "S" crossed her mind. It scared me alot and i kept talking to her till she felt ok. She allready been in the hospital for attempting. Well needless to say i got all anxious and worried and la de la u know the rest. I had no urge to cut it just was like a tape recorder going overand over in my head that you wont sleep unless you cut. No urge i practically tried to ignore it but it kept repeating. I gave in. Im such a failer. There was no urge. I had no reason but to shut that stupid voice up in my head. Then after i was still worried and now even more worried cause i had it in a visable spot on my arm.9 cuts in a row. And at work i am required to wear short sleeves. Lucky no one knoticed yet. I did this to shut my self up and instead created more static in my head. Did not help. Sorry this post is so long, just needed to vent.
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#2
Aug 28, 2005, 10:04 PM
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Feelings are so hard when they pile up on us. Forgive and move on. It gets better.
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#3
Aug 29, 2005, 04:59 AM
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We welcome venting here. And yeah I've had some of those talks before. They are pretty scary sometimes.
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...she's a difficult girl...
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#4
Aug 29, 2005, 02:22 PM
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dont be so hard on yourself....it will get better....hang in there and VENT away...I am listening
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"My Therapist always says there is HOPE, so he continues to be my light of HOPE even on my darkest of days" |
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#5
Aug 29, 2005, 10:45 PM
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im doing much better now. No one knoticed my scars and today i went to purchase books for classes. American sign language and general psychology. Gonna be interesting wednesday in psychology class showing up in short sleeves (its gonna be hot that day) with cuts on my arms. Hope it goes well
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#6
Aug 30, 2005, 12:47 AM
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Try and not be so hard on yourself. Sometimes the voice gets so strong it is hard to resist. I hope you did not have any uncomfortable experiences from wearing short sleeves. Keep venting. It helps sometimes.
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#7
Aug 30, 2005, 02:06 PM
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I dunno if yours are far enough down but I have a wrist band (a bunch actually to make sure they match :-) ) that I wear.
Another thing to remember is everyone deserves another chance when dealing with themselves. For some reason almost everyone i've ever met has stricter standards for themselves than for other people. and why you feel like you failed yourself that make it worse.
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The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. For nothing now can ever come to any good. W.H. Auden -Funeral Blues |
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#8
Aug 30, 2005, 04:09 PM
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Oh yeah. I do the sweatband thing too. Well sweatband on one wrist and watch on the other. Could you do something like that maybe? I'm sorry you're having a hard time.
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...she's a difficult girl...
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#9
Aug 30, 2005, 09:47 PM
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i could there are these rubber braclets that sell 20 for 1 dollar. I think im gonna buy those.
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