what do you think?

I don't think this post will trigger ... but I guess be careful just in case

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Okay. So, I've had a quick browse around this board, & like so many others it seems pretty recovery-focused and anti-SI.
I don't have a problem with people growing to dislike their self-injurious behaviour and wanting it to end. It's their choice ... and actually I have friends in that situation who I try & support every way I can.
But do you think it's bad for every person, or only some, like yourself if you want to stop? I mean, if someone wasn't injuring themselves to the point of requiring medical attention, felt no mixed feelings after the act, and had no worried family & friends, etc, etc .... Then do you think it could be ok?

Please answer. I'm not trying to be rude, I do respect your opinions, that's why I'm asking.

Personally I don't see anything wrong with cutting...I never cut deep at all...just enough to barely bleed. I actually feel very proud when I do cut. Most of the people in this world see a problem with it but I don't.

Hmm, I think it's an excellent question.

For me, I don't think the people that do it are bad, just maybe troubled and in pain. I think, like any not particularly healthy habit, it can become a problem. Drinking alcohol in and of itself isn't bad, but when you can't stop or control it, you're in trouble.
When I do use si, it's cause something hurt too much and I couldn't find another way to deal. I don't feel particularly proud that I use it to deal, and I would be embarassed if others knew. With that in mind, I feel like I should learn better ways that I don't have to be ashamed of.
Guess it's up to each of us to decide for ourselves what works or doesn't. I wouldn't feel right telling someone they had to stop. Don't think it would work either.
Just my 2 cents, Quay

ITs a form of coping one picks up just the same as drinking or crying or anything else that works for the individul.

Is it wrong? It depends on who you are asking.

Health wise there could be problems such as infections or scars.

Socially there is the factor of being misunderstood and judged.

I suppose it can be bad from some people who take it to the extreme.

My little brother cuts and works in a fast food resturant with mandatory uniforms that do not cover his arms, this leads him to be heavily scruntinized and I would think it would be bad for buisness. If you think about it, it is not appealing to get food from someone who looks like thier arms went through a cheese grader.

I have yet to see a long term situation where it hasn't become a interference in a persons life

Thanks so much for all those replies!

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ickydog2006 said:
I have yet to see a long term situation where it hasn't become a interference in a persons life

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How long would someone be doing it for it to be long-term?

I have yet to meet someone who has done it for a year without one of the below applying
'injuring themselves to the point of requiring medical attention', 'felt mixed feelings after the act',or 'had worried family & friends'
especially the last one

Personally I've been self-injuring for 5 years & have only experienced the mixed feelings - rarely, and a while ago now. *shrug* Maybe for most people it turns out to be a poor way to cope, which is why I'd never go around telling anyone to try it. But perhaps occassionally any negative results are extremely minimal compared to how much it helps. That's just my thoughts on it..

Uh...I cut and I don't really see a problem with it. I only cut shallowly. My family don't know and even if they did, they wouldn't understand and I don't think they'd do anything about it. Worried friends are easy to deal with. The only thing is infection, which, by the way, kinda a major stress at the moment.

I think cutting works for certain people. And is there to help them. But i feel that the person should learn better coping ways. Or at least try.

Sorry...no-way...do I support "cutting". It is potentially very injurious to humans. Not to mention a possible biohazard.

my thoughts
~Dottie

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blackdragon said:
I think cutting works for certain people. And is there to help them. But i feel that the person should learn better coping ways. Or at least try.

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Sorry, but I don't understand. If self-injury works for certain people, & helps them, then what would be "better"?

The thing is, SI doesn't deal with the problem. All it does is avoid what you are feeling for the time being, but then it all comes back and feels even worse the next time, and you have to go through it all over again. I know that it seems to work, but it's just because it gets you out of coping with your real feelings for the moment.

Very recently, and during relapses that have happened as recently as not quite two weeks ago, I couldn't see anything wrong with SI either. That's why I need reminders about why not to, like the thread above. At times it's really hard to care, and it seems like getting through right now, and getting relief from uncomfortable feelings is all that matters. Maybe on rare occasion it is, like if you really don't have control and you're going to do something worse otherwise. I don't think that SI makes anyone bad, but it's not healthy, and it only gets worse in the long run. Next time that I relapse, would somebody please remind me?

Rap

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Sorry, but I don't understand. If self-injury works for certain people, & helps them, then what would be "better"?

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I don't have all the answers, but I think "better" would be to face the problem, work through the feelings, and deal with what it going on. Easier said than done, but SI is an easy way out that doesn't pay off in the long run.

My way of thinking pretty much echos what Rapunzel said. Cutting isn't about the physical damage. It doesn't matter if the wounds barely scratch the surface or if they require stitches every time. If you're cutting yourself, chances are it means that there's some underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Self injuring doesn't do anything to help resolve that issue. it just manages the symptoms so you can keep surviving day to day. As long as you depend on cutting as a coping mechanism, it'll be difficult or impossible to learn better, healthier, productive ways of dealing with life.

It's kind of like the alcoholic who reaches for a beer when stressed. Every alcoholic started with just one drink at one point. It seems harmless at first, and then it snowballs. In my experience, self injury works the same way.

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Rapunzel said:
Next time that I relapse, would somebody please remind me?

Rap

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Err, deal. && me too.

-Ren
(who has been dealing with this for 21 years and wishes that someone had told her a long time ago that the longer self injury allowed to continue, the harder it is to stop)

I made a decision to try to be more healthy and that meant no more cutting. I wanted to work toward health. It was one year in May with a minor set-back in July or August of this year when I realized that human skin is very strong and it is not meant to be cut like this and I just could not cut even though I really kinda wanted to. I agree with Rap. If we are striving toward health then let's look for better coping skills. it's a journey. Now, can someone teach me to eat correctly?

Yeah, it's so easy to just substitute something else. I know how to eat correctly. I just don't feel like I'm worth feeding correctly. And it's all just more of the same garbage, isn't it?

Usually someone reverts to cutting when the pain inside becomes greater than the pain outside. At that point sometimes it is the only coping skill that you have at the time. Hopefully you will find a coping mechanism that is not harmful to yourself. Cutting is not just physical but is heavily emotional. Scarring yourself is for life as I can well attest. Please try and learn to be kind to yourself. You are worth it.