Bored and Frustrated (poss. trig)

I am bored and frustrated with myself. I want to be "normal" but I don't want to give up maladaptive ways. I am "vacationing" in a hotel tonight, very fancy and *really cheap*, I might add. There are fireworks going outside my window, I suppose for Labor Day? I feel like doing something tonight. I've already been drinking, but that is wearing off. I took a few laxies earlier and those are starting to kick in. I just feel like pulling out a blade because I can and that I am bored and frustrated with myself. I'm not sure that I will. I want to feel something. I want to feel something different. What is it that I want to feel?

I don't know for sure. Sounds like you want to feel alive and connected. How about going out to watch the fireworks? Find something else to releave the boredom so you don't have to resort to the tried and true 'old hat' stuff. Call a friend? Email someone? Send an ecard? Just stay here on pc to talk until you're ready to sleep.
The other games will still be there if you decide that's what you really want to do, but in the mean time, see if you can get by with out it. If that's what you want....