[blackdragon]

* I dont know if this is the place to put this*

Today i had a mandatory meet i had to go to or else i could not register for spring classes. The topic was on sexual harrassment and phsyical abuse. Ok i do not want to go cause i was physically abused and i have a memory that im unsure of about sexually molested by a older kid when i was 6. They had 3 movies to show and they are really graphic. I started to think about the assaults that happene in highschool and how no one helped me or even beleived me. If highschool wont beleive you why would college? I ended up cutting my arm after the whole presentation. I dont know whats wrong with me. I should be over the physical assaults by now. I mean they did happen 3 years ago. And the memory of the boy putting his hands down my pants. Its not real i dont think. I wished i didnt go to it. My mind wont stop thinking about all the crap i had to take. Cutting releived the memorize for an hour now. I just6 want to cut and sleep and forget about it. Why cant i forget??????????

[ickydog2006]

Don't be hard in yourself for not being over it. It has been 5 years since abuse that happened once in which the man didn't even touch me, and I'm not even close to over it. I'm trying to learn how to handle it without cutting but it does get really hard sometimes. I don't feel bad or blame you at all for the actions you took. I know how hard it can be to face these subjects and not remember if some abuse is real or not. It isn't you fault.

[blackdragon]

thank you icky. I wish i was overe this.. Its like a dark figure hovering over me and i cant get away. I get frustrated about it all the time. I hope i never haft to go to another one again. I think it would be too hard.