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#1
Dec 04, 2010, 08:10 AM
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last night i really wanted to hurt myself and since my husband was still awake apparently i felt the need to get creative with it and ended up raking my knuckles against the wall and hitting it a few times, scratching my arms all up, and biting the inside of my lip. i really just wanted to cut to make all the feelings go away. i was so depressed. after doing said acts i came out to the living room to talk to my husband, b/c i really needed some support. as usual he was really no help, since i really thought i should probably go to the hospital b/c i was suicidal to say the least. instead i just went back to bed, thankfully going to sleep.
now i just feel stupid, and kinda look like i've been in a fight which doesn't make me feel any better about what i've done. i don't know what my problem is, but i really wish things would get better, because they're supposed to, right?? |
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#2
Dec 04, 2010, 09:01 AM
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Are you in therapy Moreta?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Dec 04, 2010, 11:58 AM
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(((( Moreta~! ))))) there's no explanation for why OCD's come and get us,,, darn brains, so complex, always something to go dipsy with them.... hope you find a way to distract that doesn't leave so many marks~~ best wishes,, Gus
__________________
AWAKEN~! |
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#4
Dec 04, 2010, 01:27 PM
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Quote:
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#5
Dec 04, 2010, 03:13 PM
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I'm so glad that you are in therapy. Does your therapist know how you have been struggling this week?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Dec 04, 2010, 05:44 PM
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I told him I've been struggling for the past couple weeks. He then pointed out that it probably due to the medication overhaul that I'm currently going through and the fact that I'm coming off an anti-depressant. Last night was just a bad one though. I feel slightly better now.
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 Sannah
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#7
Dec 04, 2010, 05:51 PM
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It could also be the past issues that you are dealing with in Therapy that are causing your mind so much pain.....if it was pain in the past, dealing with it will hurt also....just bringing up past issues trigger me really badly. I don't have the SI issues, but the depersonalization & other anxiety reactions are really bad.....especially at this time of year when everything seemed to happen in the fall & winter's in my past.
You sound like you have a lot of pain inside that is working on coming out.....sometimes we react in the way you did to try to make that hurt go away....only causing a different kind of hurt. You can add to that, th med issues, but mostly, it's the past things in our life that mess us up the most......anything else is just in addition. Sending you calm thoughts & peace
__________________
 Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
| Moreta
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