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#1
Dec 20, 2010, 09:29 AM
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Hi everyone some of you may not know me. I have not si'd in a while and don't come to this forum a WHOLE lot in order to protect myself from thinking about it too much/triggering. But I used to si pretty often.
I've been getting closer to si for the past week, and it's starting to scare me. I've resisted. The desire is no where NEAR as intense as it was before. I've not si'd for a while, I wish I remembered the last day I did so I could keep a count, and be proud. I've been really upset with myself/angry at myself (but really I'm angry upset and terrified by a lot more than just myself, I tend to blame myself for everything  )!!--- Trigger warning ---!! Last night was humiliating. I had a sudden intense urge to si, had just been trying to cut open a bagel and started to run downstairs with something to the bathroom, boyfriend followed though. I don't think I actually would have done it but it was so close. I've not done that in what feels like a very long time. !!--- End trigger ---!!! So I'm humiliated and afraid  and could use some support
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 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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#2
Dec 20, 2010, 11:00 AM
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Quote:
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Dec 20, 2010, 11:17 AM
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I am really glad that you had someone with you ready to support you when you needed them. What helped you stop the SI before?
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There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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#4
Dec 20, 2010, 01:20 PM
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((((turquoisesea))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so glad you did not harm yourself. It is wonderful your boyfriend is so supportive. Please try and take care of yourself.
 BB
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#5
Dec 20, 2010, 09:44 PM
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((((((((turquoisesea))))))
I'm sorry you are having urges to SI again. I'm glad that you were able to keep yourself from SIing this time. What has helped in the past? Remember that there is a list at the top of the forum of things to do instead of SIing when you have the urge. 
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#6
Dec 20, 2010, 10:09 PM
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Of course we know you, turquoisesea! I am so glad you resisted the urge. I cannot claim to know much about this, but am quite familiar with self-destructive behaviors, which may have something in common with Si. I know that SI is much more complex than that. I am grateful that you have a supportive other.
 billieJ
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FORGIVENESS Releases the poison from your system and sets you free  ~ From the Heart ~ billieJ
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#7
Dec 21, 2010, 03:25 AM
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Good for you and your boyfriend, I have been going through the same thing, I am sure you can continue to resist! Best of luck!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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