[Nemo39122]

This is day one of stopping SI forever. It's not the first time I've tried to stop, so this time I know I need a plan. I'll admit, it's pretty hard to be positive about it sometimes but I need to stop. It's just making things worse now. So here's my idea.

It's taken me nearly 3 years to figure out I can't just stop SI without replacing it with something else. So, I'm restarting my journal and focusing on songwriting as much as I used to. SI made those things not seem important anymore, but they are. I'll also be exercising more, partly because of several martial arts tournaments and tryouts coming up, but it helps with SI urges too. This time I have a best friend that knows, and understands (from personal experience) that I could also talk to. Last but nowhere near least, music. Playing it, writing it, listening to it. I can't forget how much it helps me. I'm going to do anything I can think of or have previously done to avoid SI. If those things don't work, I'll think of something else.

I had a similar plan last year and stopped for 6 months, until alot of really really tough things came up and it seemed like my only option. This time I'll make sure I don't SI, no matter what. No more scars, no more overdosing, I'm done with this.

I'll be honest, there's still a part of me that doesn't want to stop. Sometimes I wonder why I want to, but it's not a matter of wanting to. I have to do this. It's not going to be easy. I regret starting, and I'll probably regret stopping at least once. But it just makes things worse over time. I'm determined to get to that point where I don't even think about it anymore.

So...who's with me?

Like I said, music is important in this. Here's a song that's helping right now:

[yellowted]

good for you wanting to stop, i wish you every success xx

[KeepHoldingOn]

Xx_Not_Emo_xX I admire your courage and determination very much. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Don’t lose sight of the goal, it is within reach.

I will indeed be joining you in the fight to stop. I want to very much so and I think I am finally strong enough to do so.

Please keep me updated on how you are doing.

I wish you happiness and health this new year. May you grow and become stronger as time goes on!

[KeepHoldingOn]

Xx_Not_Emo_xX I admire your courage and determination very much. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Don’t lose sight of the goal, it is within reach.

I will indeed be joining you in the fight to stop. I want to very much so and I think I am finally strong enough to do so.

Please keep me updated on how you are doing.

[Onward2wards]

I was going to say "Sounds like a plan"

Kudos to you for your courage and determination. This reminds me I have a lot of things to work on in 2011.

[Sannah]

Very good!! You go.........

[livetofight]

good luck! keep us updated with progress :-) really hope journaling and music do it for you

and good luck to KeepHoldingOn too!

J x

[Nemo39122]

Thanks everyone, the replies actually help and I really appreciate it.
It's been almost a week and I haven't slipped up yet!
It's been tough, but luckily I've had a few good days depression-wise which really helps.
Good luck to anyone else trying to stop

[Christina86]

GO YOU!!



You can do it, one day at a time. Great plans to replace SI with more positive stuff, you may also want to put together a list of people you can call/email/text if you feel the urge (or come post here!) so you've got the added support.

Since you've experienced tough stuff before that made you relapse, do you have an idea about what you can do to help yourself if you're faced with a similar situation or urges?

Don't forget to have this post somewhere accessible so you can read it whenever -- it's good motivation. Wanting to quit is a part of trying to quit, but you can fake it 'til you make it -- act like you want to quit, until it becomes second nature and you actually want to quit! (That's what I did anyhow, and it works pretty well... I've got almost four years SI free now... holy moley. At least I think so)

[Nemo39122]

Right now there's only one person (my best friend, the most awesome person ever lol) that I could talk to if I needed to. A few other friends I could talk to if they knew, but they don't. I could tell them if I really needed to talk to someone, but hopefully I won't need to do that.

I can usually deal with the urges pretty well, especially if I'm really trying to stop. The problem is if something does come up like last year. Last year I found out that my dad threw me when I was a baby because I wouldnt stop crying, I ended up in a coma, vision problems now, my mom not divorcing him which made me angry at her too.....the point of this is, I have a feeling I won't have to deal with anything like that again. If other tough things come up, I think I can handle it. If not, I have a friend I can talk to now. The past year has made me totally a wreck at times but I feel stronger now. I went through all that as just a baby and I survived. Maybe I can survive anything. Like something my best friend said, I'm not just a fighter in martial arts
Kinda venting there. I'm done now.

Thanks for replying

[Escape.Artist]

Awesome

Can I join in this with you?

[Nemo39122]

Definitely!
Good luck and let me know how you're doing