trying so very hard not to

hm....I wish there was some sort of email system too. I hate phones myself.

You're not a waste of time, no one is. I wouldn't listen to what your mum says. SHe's wrong.

Do you have anyone, ANYONE you can turn to right now? A friend or relative that you trust? Damn....trhat may involve phones again....Oh I feel so bad I can't help more....

I try things like this - putting everything sharp in a box I can lock, or tape up. I shove the box somewhere really hard to get to. Then I try waiting it out. It's torture, but try doing something else - draw insane crazy pictures, write how you feel, don't edit, don't think about it just take that frustration out on something that doesn't mind. I don't condone this but I used to chuck stuff around the backyard and stomp around like a wild thing for a bit. Sometimes it even worked.