[Fuzzybear]

a few little scratches wouldn't hurt, hey?

And I freaking "deserve" so so much worse

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

a few little scratches wouldn't hurt, hey?

And I freaking "deserve" so so much worse

Right, my furry friend, why do you feel you need to hurt yourself in this way? Does self-harming relieve the tension for you, are you using the self-harm to stuff your true feelings away or are you self-harming because you truly feel you deserve to hurt yourself?

If you are doing this because you feel you truly deserve to hurt yourself, have a think on who would truly think that way. Are you going to carry on that abuse from the past? I'm sorry to be blunt but you truly deserve lots of love, comfort and understanding, NOT punishment!

[Fuzzybear]

someone who I trusted (almost trusted...) has completely invalidated me. After promising "the world" - stupid me to believe them I made one mistake.. really I couldn't have made any other choice at the time, and now I'm the "most terrible person, completely untrustworthy"
Rationally, I know they (also) have more than a few issues... I'm wondering if they have split me black.

Please note, this is NOT anyone from pc...(they have never been on pc)

Emotionally I feel less than a worm, a something, hardly human, who deserves to be squashed, until I'm ground down into the dust And those feelings are so scary, so overwhelming, that I'd rather rip myself into shreds than face them, and the childhood abuse where they came from.

(actually I have faced some of the abuse in therapy... maybe not all of it though)

Don't worry, I won't hurt myself (more) .. although I want to

ps I'm probably using it for all the reasons you mentioned..

does this even make sense?

[pegasus]

It makes a lot of sense (((((((( Furrypaws )))))))) I'm so sorry this is happening to you again but this time I sense a real strength in you. You are strong and the lies and abuse of the past do NOT have to take a hold in the present as it does right now. I'm sorry this person has said such horrible things to you, I know the truth and that is that you are a wonderful, sensitive, caring individual.

[Sannah]

This person doesn't sound right at all. Sounds like you are giving them more validation then they deserve?

[Fuzzybear]

I think it's about how people construct their reality.

To this person, it was a bad mistake, a wrong thing to do.

To someone else, they would understand because their construction of reality is more similar to mine... and this construction is shaped to a large extent by their childhood experiences, including childhood abuse whether they deny that or not. (and that's part of my construction of reality...)

(does this make sense?....)

[googley]

(((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))

I'm so sorry. What you are writing does make sense. I am so sorry you are in so much pain. I hope that you work on the abuse from your childhood more in therapy. You deserve to feel well. You deserve to be cared about and loved. Please be gentle with yourself.

[Sannah]

Makes perfect sense Fuzzy. So why are you buying the reality that he constructed?

[Fuzzybear]

This person isn't angry any more... in a sense they weren't before. I might have misread them (although they didn't like something I did, they aren't the "parents"...)

Thanks for your replies!

[Sannah]

I see, your past experiences sort of took over and colored the situation for you. This is good awareness Fuzzy. Keep this in mind for next time?

[eskielover]

It's easy to mis read people when things aren't specifically communicated. It's hard to keep some relationships going.....there are some where differences do cause some angry feelings.

I had a friend who I had only met a few years before....who was trying to tell me what she thought was the solution to my problem & then seemed to attack me about other things that weren't even accurate when I said that I couldn't agree with her solution (it was about meds & she had no idea all the bad side effects I had gone through prior to moving to my new home 2100 miles away, where no one even knew me). I couldn't blame her for wanting to find a solution that would help me.....realized she had to have spent much thought time trying to come up with what she thought was the solution. I didn't end up calling her on her suggestion, but the attacks that happened when her suggestion wasn't agreed to. I could have misread her big time....but realized that it's ok if people don't like what I do or how I do it.....& I won't react the same to them......turned out bringing the friendship closer with a deeper respect for each other.......Iron sharpens Iron at times. In otherwords, you are right....at this age, our relationships aren't parent/child.....they are equal/equal.

Hope you are feeling better now.

[the1forgotten]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[turquoisesea]

This all makes sense, I hope you're ok now - you don't deserve harm just because of someone else's thoughts or actions (((((((Fuzzy)))))))

[**Angel**]

((((Fuzzy)))) Hope you are doing slightly better, keep us updated on how you are doing, I can't add to what has been said, but wanted to show I care and I'm thinking about you ((((Fuzzy)))))