I haven't hurt myself in a long time....but lately it's all I can think about. I am trying my best not to but I don't know how long it will take for this bought to be over. I'm feeling so down and don't know where else to turn. Part of me just wants to just put an end to it all-I've tried talking to my T he just doesn't seem to get it.

[Confusedinomicon]

If you are feeling suicidal, and feel you are going to harm yourself it is best to check into the hospital. If you think you are not going to harm yourself, look into an outpatient program.

((RiverJ))

I've been thinking about it for sometime...I'm just not sure how it's going to effect my future. Healthcare and job. I have looked for outpatient info...I have a t and pdoc - it's just doesn't seem to be helping.
I don't know what to do anymore!

[Sannah]

What have you told your T if you don't mind me asking?

He knows that I go through times when I feel like this. I tried to talk to him but he wants to wait til me meet, I'm supposed to see him tomorrow. By then I might not even say anything...they'll be no use.

[Confusedinomicon]

You are your biggest health advocate! What you say ALWAYS matters.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by RiverJ

I'm supposed to see him tomorrow. By then I might not even say anything...they'll be no use.

You must be specific with your T! Telling him clearly and completely what is going on with yourself. Vagueness and holding back won't work.

Originally Posted by Sannah

You must be specific with your T! Telling him clearly and completely what is going on with yourself. Vagueness and holding back won't work.

It's so hard...sometimes I don't even understand what's going on with me. I've been trying to be more open some days are easier than others. Being able to post things here sometimes helps.

[Confusedinomicon]

Maybe you can write down your concerns and give it to your T? Then you won't feel as stressed about telling them how you feel and you'll open doors. You don't have to fully understand what is going on. I'm doing fairly well and I don't even understand what is going on with me half the time. Take things in stride, baby steps!

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

Maybe you can write down your concerns and give it to your T? Then you won't feel as stressed about telling them how you feel and you'll open doors. You don't have to fully understand what is going on. I'm doing fairly well and I don't even understand what is going on with me half the time. Take things in stride, baby steps!

I'm going to give it a try and see what happens.

Thanks again!!

[Sannah]

Keep us updated? Good luck! And work hard!

Originally Posted by Sannah

Keep us updated? Good luck! And work hard!

Thank you! I'm going to do my best to give it a try.

So I've been trying my best to be more forthcoming with talking about things that have been bothering me. I sugguested to my T that maybe we could meet twice a week until I felt more secure with things. I did speak to him about how things were getting so difficult to talk to him and he said that he was glad that I told him...I couldn't do the writing thing - Somehow I was able to try to begin talking about things.

[Sannah]

Woo Hoo!! Excellent work!!!

Originally Posted by Sannah

Woo Hoo!! Excellent work!!!

Then why do I feel so incredibly misserable? I still feel so alone. I know that most of it's my own fault. I just want to stop feeling this way.

[teresapooh98]

Your not alone I feel the same way u do. I am trying healthier coping mechanisms but they don't always help.

I really don't have anyone. My mother isn't well and I'm doing the best that I can to take care of her...in the meantime I'm trying to hold onto a full time job...and I just got lost in the shuffle. My family said that they would be there for me but they never lived up to what they said that they would do.
The only way I've been able to copy haven't been the healthiest!

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by RiverJ

Then why do I feel so incredibly misserable? I still feel so alone.

I think that you answered your own question here? Put that feeling alone on the therapy agenda? Yes, many of us with issues are disconnected from others because this is part of that package. Working on this issue is really important for feeling better.

I had a really terrible day and I'm scared to be alone.

[Sannah]

Do you want to talk about yesterday?

Originally Posted by Sannah

Do you want to talk about yesterday?

I'm supposed to meet my T later tonight. I'll try to write something later when I get back....who know's maybe that will make things worse/better - can't tell these days.

But thank you for asking...there aren't that many people that do these days.

I don't remember much....but I was just in such a bad place. I had a fight with my boss and I've been trying to maintain things at work. It's been hard to focus and concentrait. I'm also on meds which tend to make me up and down. Athought antidpressants are supposed to help, I've been on 2 so far. The first was not helpful at all with all the side effects. Now I'm on something else...and I just have to wait. My Pdoc is out until probably till the end of September because he hurt himself. It probably didn't help that I didn't have him to talk to. My T is ok, but sometimes its just not enough. I've aske my T to see him 2x a week, he couldn't manage it so we talk on the phone and meet for the week. I text him if things get really bad.

Sometimes it just gets hard! And I don't know how to handle everything. I wish that my family was more involved with helping me with my mother. It's a lot to take care of a sick parent, especially when you don't have any help! I help people everyday at work...sometimes I just wish they could help me. I'm unfortunally one of those people that has a hard time asking for help and turn to bad things when it gets bad. Sometimes I scare myself with the thoughts that come up. I'm definatly my own worst ememy at times like this.

I'm sorry...sounds like a pitty party - just right now it's been very difficult to get through the days. Today was a little better, I hope that things will continue in a more positive way...I pray!

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by RiverJ

I wish that my family was more involved with helping me with my mother. It's a lot to take care of a sick parent, especially when you don't have any help!

I help people everyday at work...

sometimes I just wish they could help me.

I'm unfortunally one of those people that has a hard time asking for help

Have you approached your family for help with your mother?

Originally Posted by Sannah

Have you approached your family for help with your mother?

I approched them when she was in the hospital back in April, they said that they would be there...but that only lasted till she came home and the truth is that it definatly wasn't all of them that were helpful!! Most of them still just ignore me and pretend that I don't exsist!

I don't know what to do anymore. Things are getting out of contol and my dression isn't getting any better...drugs or no drugs. No one seems to understand how alone it is having to take care of someone all by your self and not have any support.