[prismatic9]

There are times when you feel like if you don't cut; you're going to go totally nuts........this is one of those nights!

I haven't cut for about a month; but I finally found my hubbies Swiss Army knife...he's hiding mine; but his was just buried a pile of papers.....(men!) I've been waiting for him to go to sleep.....if I cut, does that put me back in the scum pool of first step lectures? Is it worth it?

The blade is mightier than the word?

Prismatic9

[backandforth]

when is si ever really "worth it"? I know that in the moment it is but in the long run it rarely is...sigh. If you can, try focusing on something else... and not the fact that you're waiting for him to go to sleep so you can cut.... or better, take the knife and hide it yourself, put it in a place where it'll be really hard for you to get at... you could even hand it over to him if you think you're strong enough... but I mean, no matter what happens, it's not going to set you back to never having stopped si... it's only a slip up, but it sounds like right now you're still debating it.... and as bad as things may seem, is there anything you can do to try and take your mind off of wanting to si? that's the only thing I really find that helps... until the urge passes. it works some of the time at least... but again, don't beat yourself up if you have si'd.... part of getting better is not living in these all or none ways and getting over si is bound to include some slip ups... (((hugs))) hope you find the strength to resist the urges....

[BamaSurvivor]

I know whatcha mean. Been many months since I SI'd, and I'm really wanting to do so now. I barely started cutting on my leg and decided to stop before I went too far. If I can refocus my attention on something else to keep me from cutting, anyone can. I was an avid everyday cutter for almost 8 years. So please try finding something to occupy you. Something that will keep your mind and body busy.

[Lexicon78]

I know exactly what you are going through since I've been cutting for about 15 years now. I don't know about cutting being worth it or not since I really don't think about that aspect of it, never have.

Anyways, the best advice I can give is to keep your hands, body, and mind as busy as possible. I have to write, type, do puzzles, clean, etc., when I want to cut. It has to be a constant thing for me. So maybe trying this may help.

Hang in there and stay safe.

[tamzinrose]

I get ya. Sometimes you just get stuck on it...like right now for me.

[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple">You are not alone in this... There are times when I am able to distract and keep from s/i but then there are those heavy urges and thoughts that just wont go away no matter what I do or try to distract and i feel the inner struggle with it gets so intense it hurts.....I wish i had some great advice to offer, but all I can offer is support in knowing you are not alone and that all of us here care about you. I have hope that there is something out there or in us that we will find that will be a stronger distraction than the s/i itself....something positive. Dont give up, keep trying to find that distraction that may work for you. Do you have support friend or fmaily member near by that could come over or you could call and maybe help you too? I do find many times that my H is a good source for me and sometimes just hearing his voice is what refocuses my thoughts and attention towards something else...
Melinda </font>