scared of t on monday

so scared of my t session coming on monday. im scared what she may say will cause me to s/i more. i already do too much. i emailed her about figuring something out. and she wants to talk about it. im just scared im wrong about it maybe. if im not it will be ok. otherwise i dont know what my reaction is going to be. im ok now because im not sure and its not real yet. maybe i am right and it will be fine. im so scared of what the truth might be. either i was right or incredibly wrong. i dont want to be wrong. s/i-ing is how ill end up dealing with it if i am. this post has no hope. sorry.

It DOES have hope. I was scared telling my parents and school counselor, but after I did it was way better. Therapists only want you to get better, and since you saught help, its obvious that YOU want to get better. Truth is, she might not tell you to stop all together, it may be gradual. What I did when I was given an ultimatum by my parents to stop, was use washable markers and paint (red). It works, and I suggest you try it. It is one of those things that has helped me though my one month. If she says something that triggers, then TELL HER. She will not only stop, but help you throught figuring out why that triggered you. Everything you are doing is helping you. Your post is filled with hope, because even though it is going to be hard, everything is just going to get BETTER. Plus you have everyone at PC to help you through it, including me. Good luck and I am proud of your baby steps forward! make sure you check out my post called "Markers" for more info on the "harmless cutting" xoxo Caitie

Ohhhhhhhhh suzzie. Dear, dear suzzie! I'm just piecing together the pieces of your puzzle! I wish I had recognized all of it sooner. You need all the love and support we can give you. I don't know what Monday will bring; not even what it's all about. But I'm wondering if this is a therapist you've been working with for awhile? Suzzie, if she is, (and even if she's not) try to believe that she will know what to say to help you the most. If you're right, suzzie, you know you'll be ok. If you're "incredibly wrong", trust that she will know how to cushion her response. Come to PC right away........there are those of us who know and love you to pieces. Let us try to help you through what ever it is you're dealing with. This pains me so much to see how you're suffering. PM me or sundog, or both of us so we can walk you through this. You matter so much, suzzie. Talk to us first. Hugs ((((((((sweetheart)))))))........and much love, grey

i was wrong..........