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  #1  
Old Aug 08, 2011, 09:58 PM
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Katileena Katileena is offline
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I've been struggling with self injury for 4 years now....been off and on. I was doing really well for a while, hadn't cut in 4 months.....but then recently I started up again, and now I've cut every week....and the past 2 times I cut within days. Why can't I stop? I hate myself....I feel sooo much anger toward myself I want to cut myself to pieces.....but I also want to be happy and know I can conquer this.....I just don't know when I will ever get out of this monster that has taken my soul.
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  #2  
Old Aug 08, 2011, 11:11 PM
Confusedinomicon Confusedinomicon is offline
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((Katileena))

I learned from a class that relapse happens often and that all you can do is pick up where you left off. I think it is wonderful that you hadn't cut for 4 months. That is a real accomplishment!

This year I have finally cut down on my hitting. It doesn't leave scars but I used to give myself headaches. Well, two weeks ago (maybe last week) I got so frustrated that I started hitting again after several months of not doing it. But, I stopped myself, realized that it was okay that I 'relapsed' and now I'm starting over. Please be easier on yourself, Katileena.

*hug*
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"You got to fight those gnomes...tell them to get out of your head!"
Thanks for this!
puzzclar
  #3  
Old Aug 09, 2011, 12:15 AM
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Katileena Katileena is offline
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I don't know that to do....at this point I think Im going to call to go to hospital...
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~Like a Butterfly, one day I'll break out of myself and fly freely.
  #4  
Old Aug 09, 2011, 12:19 AM
Confusedinomicon Confusedinomicon is offline
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You know yourself best. If you think a hospitalization will help you out, then do it.

There isn't any wrong with needing extra help. You're brave to seek it. ((Hugs))
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"You got to fight those gnomes...tell them to get out of your head!"
  #5  
Old Aug 10, 2011, 08:19 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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How are you doing today Kati? Did you call for help? Do you understand what is triggering the start up of your SI? Have you ever been in therapy?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

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  #6  
Old Aug 10, 2011, 10:10 AM
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Katileena Katileena is offline
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I did go to the ER and they took care of my cuts and then released me in the morning. I've been sleeping most of the time at home; I'm still feeling really depressed. And also really upset with myself for what I did. I think I know what is triggering my SI...my family is going through some rough times. My dad is going to jail for OWI and my brother is leaving to go into the army so I'm starting to feel abandoned. I know their situations have nothing to do with me but I can't help how I feel. I'm not in therapy right now because I've been struggling with alcohol use and the T I spoke to said she needs me to go to an alcohol treatment program first before I can see her. Ughh these last few weeks have been hell, I don't know how to get out of this feeling.
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~Like a Butterfly, one day I'll break out of myself and fly freely.
  #7  
Old Aug 10, 2011, 10:17 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Not all T's feel this way. Can you seek out another T who will treat you?

I can see how your family's situations are triggering you. Are you trying to avoid the feelings that are coming up?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #8  
Old Aug 11, 2011, 06:48 PM
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Katileena Katileena is offline
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Yeah I avoid my feelings because I don't really know how to identify them, or express them in a healthy way. That's why I drink and cut. But I'm probably going to try the alcohol treatment program afterall, I think it will help and then I can see a regular T after.
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~Like a Butterfly, one day I'll break out of myself and fly freely.
  #9  
Old Aug 11, 2011, 07:47 PM
Confusedinomicon Confusedinomicon is offline
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((hugs))

I am glad to see you're taking the initiative to a healthier future.
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"You got to fight those gnomes...tell them to get out of your head!"
Thanks for this!
Katileena
  #10  
Old Aug 12, 2011, 08:48 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Great!! Keep us posted on how you are doing?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
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