[Indie'sOK]

After one has self-injured for awhile - long enough to find relief in it - do they always carry the urge with them, whether aware of it or not?

I kind of want to. I'm worried about work - I fear it. This makes me want to, but I can't. I can't take that chance again. I can't go to the ER again, and put my parents through that worry again.

So I guess I don't know what to do. I'm not sui at all, but I keep having these fleeting thoughts, like all my worry and apprehension would be gone.. But I'm NOT sui and never have been, so don't worry.

I hope this doesn't come across as attention-seeking. It's not. It's me, blowing things out of proportion as usual. I know jobs are hard to come by, but is it really worth it? Really? Is the anxiety worth making a little extra money?

[RunningEagleRuns]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

After one has self-injured for awhile - long enough to find relief in it - do they always carry the urge with them, whether aware of it or not?

I kind of want to. I'm worried about work - I fear it. This makes me want to, but I can't. I can't take that chance again. I can't go to the ER again, and put my parents through that worry again.

So I guess I don't know what to do. I'm not sui at all, but I keep having these fleeting thoughts, like all my worry and apprehension would be gone.. But I'm NOT sui and never have been, so don't worry.

I hope this doesn't come across as attention-seeking. It's not. It's me, blowing things out of proportion as usual. I know jobs are hard to come by, but is it really worth it? Really? Is the anxiety worth making a little extra money?

I wish I had a job. Could you talk to a close friend about it?

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by RunningEagleRuns

I wish I had a job. Could you talk to a close friend about it?

I tell my friends that are looking for a job to not spend every second of their free time job hunting. Because when one does come up, they'll have no free time.

I'm going to talk to my therapist about it. I don't really have any close friends that would care. It's like they all have a one-track mind, only concerned with such things as "who's going out with who" and "who's doing this or that"... I doubt they'd care.

[zbmom]

You know, I've struggled with cutting for about 11 years now. I started at 15, stopped at 17, relapsed at 19 (after a rape). Stopped for 7 years, relapsed a few months ago due to a lot of things including a miscarriage, stopped for a month and relapsed last Wednesday. I wish I could tell you the urge goes away, but for me it hasn't. It's always there when I'm hurting and triggered, when I feel out of control. It's so addictive and so easy to fall back into it. Don't let yourself think you'll just do it once and get it out of your system. It doesn't work that way............

[siljie]

From my experiences, the urge itself, comes and goes. But let me tell you - it does get easier. You just have to fight and endure and remember your coping good coping techniques. For me, what always stops me from relapsing is looking back at my old scars, and regretting them. I want to take them away so badly - they're just a constant reminder of the guilt and pain I've tried to release by inflicting them onto me. They only trigger me further, when I am reminded of why I cut in the first place... And they make me feel worthless and selfish and idiotic to have done that to MYSELF. I don't want more scars to come. I want to wear the clothes I want to wear, not keep myself hidden away like that. I'm 14 and have not cut in a year. It's addictive, but once your break that pattern you'll find yourself drawn away and disgusted by it more and more - thus keeping you from doing it.

Fight.

[Sannah]

If you work on what is causing the urges, yes, they will go away. Most people SI because they aren't dealing with their feelings in a healthy way and working on the thoughts, beliefs and environments which are causing their emotional distress.

[JustWannaDisappear]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

After one has self-injured for awhile - long enough to find relief in it - do they always carry the urge with them, whether aware of it or not?

I kind of want to. I'm worried about work - I fear it. This makes me want to, but I can't. I can't take that chance again. I can't go to the ER again, and put my parents through that worry again.

So I guess I don't know what to do. I'm not sui at all, but I keep having these fleeting thoughts, like all my worry and apprehension would be gone.. But I'm NOT sui and never have been, so don't worry.

I hope this doesn't come across as attention-seeking. It's not. It's me, blowing things out of proportion as usual. I know jobs are hard to come by, but is it really worth it? Really? Is the anxiety worth making a little extra money?

I haven't cut in 8yrs. I do other things that are probably not much different in terms of relieving my anxiety, stress etc. I feel like I'm always fighting the urge to use a blade. I keep blades on hand but not easily accessible that way I have to stop and think about the consequences first.

[puzzclar]

every person is different. The urges may continue, but they can be ignored. I ignore them and find other things that help. (exercise and staying busy) Finding a good T can help as well

[splitimage]

It's been over 2 years since I last self injured. And I still get urges - frequently. But the difference is now I know that I don't have to give into the urges and they will eventually pass. Plus I've learned healthier coping mechanisms.

Also i look at my arm and see the scars. Fortunately they're very faint and you really have to be looking to see them, but I know they're there, and I remember how bad I felt at that point in my life, and I never want to go back there.

There's stress involved in almost everything. There's stress in having a job. There's stress in being unemployed and job hunting. You're never going to eliminate stress. You have to learn to manage stress with healthy coping mechanisms.

splitimage