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#1
Oct 15, 2011, 01:51 PM
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I have gone a couple of months now with no cutting. My life was somewhat settling down, back into a routine.
On Tuesday, I was in a car accident. I passed out and rear-ended someone. We were going 60mph. I am in a lot of pain. I can't contribute anything to my household. I can't do anything. I've done nothing but damage stuff or break stuff in the last 3 weeks. I want so badly to cut right now, to release some of the feelings, to make it go away 
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 avoice
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#2
Oct 15, 2011, 11:48 PM
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I texted my T, we came up with a plan that was supposed to get me through till bedtime.
Bedtime has come and gone. Now I sit here more frustrated because I can't even get the meds I am supposed to get to help me sleep. I am fighting the urge to cut, but am afraid am going to do it anyway. This time though, I will not tell my T. I can't go through that again. At least I might get some sleep if I cut, and then it's pain I can control, it's something I can do since there's nothing else I can do. I know people probably won't even read this because I have been at this point so many times before, but I figured maybe by typing it, it would be harder to rationalize cutting.... |
| avoice
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#3
Oct 16, 2011, 12:01 AM
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"People" are reading this. Just don't know what to say? I guess it's a good thing the rule is to be supportive. Thinking about you, (((nicole))).
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| Flooded, nicoleb2
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#4
Oct 16, 2011, 12:40 AM
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I'm sorry for saying that people aren't reading it. I know people are. I am just feeling really crappy and useless and worthless.
Just having a really, really bad week. |
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#5
Oct 16, 2011, 06:15 AM
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((((nicole)))))
__________________
Bipolar Disorder I, PTSD, GAD When it is darkest, we can see the stars. –Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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#6
Oct 16, 2011, 08:41 AM
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 Stay strong Nicole. |
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#7
Oct 16, 2011, 06:46 PM
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Sorry you're having a hard time. I don't really know what to say, other than try to stay strong -- 'this too shall pass', right?
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#8
Oct 16, 2011, 07:01 PM
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You've dealt with it before so keep your good streak and try to live life the way YOU want
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#9
Oct 16, 2011, 07:41 PM
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Quote:
You are far from worthless
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#10
Oct 16, 2011, 10:43 PM
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Still really frustrated, and sad, and angry today.
I'm normally independant, and come and go when I want to, can take my kids wherever they need to be. Now, I am totally reliant on my husband getting us anywhere. The only vehicle we have is his truck, which isn't super reliable, but at least it's something. I am terrified of driving now, and really don't like even riding in a vehicle. I feel so helpless, so pathetic. I don't want to be this way. If I lose my license because I passed out, that will mean at least 6 months of not driving, of having to ask for a ride to get anywhere, of basically being homebound. This thought scares the hell out of me. I don't do well when I can't get out. I get severely depressed. I don't want to do it again. I don't know if I can survive it (especially since it will be during the winter, super cold, very snowy months...) |
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#11
Oct 17, 2011, 12:10 PM
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Do you know why you passed out? I'm sorry that you are struggling with being dependent on others
. Will you be able to talk about the accident in your next T appt.?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#12
Oct 17, 2011, 05:13 PM
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Still no known cause of passing out. Talked to my t today. She wants me. To drive again even if its just around the block. I just can't do it
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#13
Oct 17, 2011, 07:14 PM
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Its the old "get back on the horse" thing. I agree with your T. And the sooner the better or you'll never be independent again.
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| Sannah
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#14
Oct 17, 2011, 10:19 PM
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I only have my husbands truck, and I talked to him tonight. He doesn't want me to drive it. He didn't say, but I know he wanted to, that I've already killed the transmission in my van, and now crashed his, so we have only his truck... I just want to give up. I don't know why I get out of bed anymore.
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#15
Oct 18, 2011, 11:06 PM
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Today has been awful. I finally got out of bed at 1pm. Didn't even bother to get dressed until 3, and only because I had to go with my husband to pick kids up from school.
I want to cut, right now. Everyone is asleep but me, and all I can think about is cutting. I can't handle feeling like this anymore. |
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#16
Oct 18, 2011, 11:20 PM
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Sorry to hear that Nicole. Hope you're feeling more positive again soon...
I think it's important for your confidence that you try and get back behind the wheel as soon as you can, too. Don't let an isolated incident ruin your life...
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| Flooded
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#17
Oct 19, 2011, 05:17 AM
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........... Sorry to hear about the car accident Nicole. Sending Big Hugs You're Way. ...........
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#18
Oct 19, 2011, 06:49 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#19
Oct 19, 2011, 09:52 PM
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Yes, mind reading. he has now said that he would prefer I not drive his truck. Now I get to walk unless he is available to bring me somewhere.
I think I'll just stay in bed, then I won't inconvenience anyone. |
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#20
Oct 20, 2011, 12:41 PM
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#21
Oct 20, 2011, 11:27 PM
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I saw my family doctor today. they are not going to do anymore testing, but he told me that i should be safe to drive... I guess i'll be driving again soon... if I can get over the fear.
I still want to cut so badly. I am in a ton of pain and can't do a lot that i want to and want the feelings to just go away |
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#22
Oct 21, 2011, 11:09 AM
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Feelings can't just go away. Feelings do pass, however, especially if you validate them. The feelings that you are having are a valid reaction.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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