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#1
Oct 30, 2011, 12:19 AM
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i cut the other day and it needed stitches, now it's really sore and all bruised where she put the stitches in. but instead of that making me not want to do it more. all i can think about is doing it worse.
any minute now i'm going to be home alone and i'll have a chance.. the voices are telling me to do it and it's soo hard to fight them... |
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#2
Oct 30, 2011, 12:40 AM
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I know the feeling of wanting to cut worse than you already have, but I've never cut so deep where I needed stitches. Try your best not to give in to those intense thoughts for I would hate for things to get too out of control. Distract yourself in any way that will help you not cut. Please be safe & take care *hug*
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#3
Oct 31, 2011, 09:27 AM
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Do you have a therapist?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Nov 04, 2011, 12:23 AM
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I just started seeing a clinical psychologist..
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#5
Nov 04, 2011, 12:58 AM
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I understand the wanting to cut more and deeper. I've been told it's an addiction. I choose not to believe that. Can you let out the pain or fear or whatever the cutting represents in another way? Try drawing on your skin with marker. I know how it feels and it feels like hell. I'm sorry you feel it too.
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#6
Nov 04, 2011, 01:00 AM
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I can really relate. I've never had to have stitches (probably should have a few times, but refused to). I just keep wanting to cut deeper and deeper
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#7
Nov 04, 2011, 08:54 PM
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Hey Quiet One...
Just thinking about you...hope you are doing ok..hope you'll let us know. Sometimes putting some physical barriers between yourself and the stuff helps..like chairs or closed doors or whatever...wrapping the wounds in ace bandages (not too tight) whatever. Holding ice cubes through the urges, using markers, using music to soothe, distracting yourself with funny movies or calling friends to get out of the house..whatever you can think of... Just a few suggestions. Take care of you.. Hugs, Wysteria Blue 
__________________
 Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart. Who looks outside, Dreams... Who looks inside, Awakens... - Carl Jung |
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#8
Nov 05, 2011, 02:26 PM
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I'm glad that you started with a therapist! Keep us posted on how you are doing?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#9
Nov 05, 2011, 07:21 PM
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I have never admitted this to anyone...there were times I cut, took out the stitches and rubbed dirt and other stuff into the open wound. I had no insight into why, just my brain was like misfiring or something. Somewhere along the way I stopped. I guess making it worse eased the guilt of doing it all over again. I don't know. I got off on this secret no one else knew about. I don't know why or how I stopped either but I still si in subtle ways. It doesn't appear that it goes away, only becomes more manageable.
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