[kaihigdontog]

i saw my t today and told hem i was planing on ending it all. so in order for hem not to lock me up he drove me home and made me give up all my tools. what good is that i can allways get more? i know he is trying to help but he told the people were i live what i was planing to do now thay are acting funny twords me. why is anyones elshs decision to make. i jest dont know to do. i dont want to live but i dont want to die eather. may be i shuld of jest checked my self in but it has allways made things worsh in the past. i want to cut so badly right now, no one seems to understand that si haves helped keep me alive for the past 13 years. i told hem that takeing my tools would jest make things worsh but he jest did not understand. i jest dont know what to do any more. sory if this post affends anyone.

[puzzclar]

First of, BREATH!! it's the best thing you can do for yourself. And your not alone. We are here for you. I totally and completely understand the taking away, making the thoughts worse. It did for me once too. And then I realized that I was making things worse. I wanted things that I never really wanted to know or to think. Yes SI is a means for coping. And yes the hospital is a good place when you've hit rock bottom. Which is what it seems like for you.

The question is what do you really want? Life is harder when you don't know what you want.

Keep Posting, and letting at least me know how you are doing, and weather you are at home or hospital.

[Sannah]

[alwaysrejoice]

I'm sorry you feel this way. I have checked myself in the hospital three times now. There is no shame in it, you have an illness. It might just be good to go to get a break from all of you stressors around you. I understand why you would hesistate. It is a hard decision. Post some more if you need to. good luck.