i dont know what to do anymore very triggery

in the middle of a legal thing between my best friend and my cousin. And now i dont know what to say or not to say anymore. Im so misrable. I should just kill my self. I just fail at that too...

i also SI too .. doesnt help at all

Oh darling....

(hugggsssS)))))

Im so sorry your feeling poorly.

Did something happen to upset you?

Please don't hurt yourself, your worth way more than that!

(((((((((((( BD )))))))))))))

Not sure what to say... maybe tell your best friend and your cousin that you need more space and that they shouldn't involve you because it puts you under a lot of pressure?

its not my friend its my cousin she is constantly hounding me to hound her over the ****EN car. I should not be alive anymore. Stroke of luck is that i have a doc appt tomorrow but i think i will kill my self before hand. Just so i can getout of this life. Im sick of it sick of being down all the time.. im worn out i cant keep taking my cousins rants and ravesw of her bipolar anymore. She says she gots control of it RIGHT i have more control of mine than her., all i want to do is take a bunch of pills and tgo to sleep.

I just added the trigger icon for that post... is there anybody you can ring to talk to about this? You don't know that taking pills will kill you, and you don't know that you might not go to sleep but end up vomiting or something all night, which is definitely not peaceful...

Don't you think that you could look ahead of your cousin's bipolar? I mean, some day she's going to stop harping on about it, and all this trouble with the car will be over and life will be easier. Perhaps don't try anything until talking with the dr ytomorrow? You don't know how much he/ she might help...

I guess i can sleep on it.. I will talk to my dr tomorrow. No use in waking him up today. But those pills are looking mighty tasty.

I hope you got through the night safely... please update on how the dr appt goes?

I made it through the night ok. The doc appt went allright. i cryed in it. we basically talked about things to do instead of cutting and how i can handle the situations better. Yeah all the fun stuff. And we also talked that i should not be afraid of the ER and getting admitted. Im still nervous cause my cousin is still around. I wish she would leave. Its very sad when u wish ur own flesh and blood cousin would just leave and never return. I dont want bethy to leave but i also do want her to leave. I just want the beth i knew back not this bethy who gets upset for the littlest of things. Im still pretty up and down about last nite but its at a level i can manage. I dont know why i must feel this way and choose between my friend or my cousin. I just want things to be back to normal.

Good... I hope you'll be able to at least consider the alternatives to SI next time...

Is there any way to make your cousin leave? Does she have anywhere else to live? (I'm assuming she's living at your house from what you say.)

she has no where else to live
she is pregnant and this is where she is living

But she also drives me crazy

Is there any way you can distance yourself from her, reduce your contact with her?

she has left for the cities... YAY.. good riddens to her... i hope that pretty car of hers transmission goes out on her.... lol... i just got back from shopping and got a tank light, an oscar, a tank heater, and some baby shrimp food... so yeah.. i still got the crying headache but im doing better now. not thinking about yesterday. or trying not too..

good don't understnad half of what you bought but they seem to be doing you nsome good

fish stuff..

fish stuff lolol!