I feel like I'm going to lose it any moment now. I can't sleep & no matter what I take to help me sleep it's still not enough. School is taking a lot out of me...well the people there are draining me. Going to my T session only makes me beat up myself more. Coming home is depressing. My mind won't rest & stop obsessing over my teacher. Anxiety won't leave me alone. My physical health is a bit poor. No one understands me...hell I don't understand me. I feel alone in a dark hole & I've been fighting the urges to cut. I think I have SI on my mind so hard that I keep unintentionally harming myself. Then when I see the scar it has left behind its like I did it on purpose but honestly was unaware of how bad I accidentally hurt myself. I can't cry or as T would say I stop myself from crying. I feel crazy & stupid because I can't stop this vicious cycle. I'm trying not to cut but I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to resist it.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by SoFragile88

School is taking a lot out of me...well the people there are draining me.

What is going on with the people there?

Originally Posted by SoFragile88

Coming home is depressing.

You are lonely?

Originally Posted by SoFragile88

My mind won't rest & stop obsessing over my teacher.

What's up with this?

Originally Posted by SoFragile88

My physical health is a bit poor.

Are you under the care of a doctor? Are you taking care of yourself?

Originally Posted by SoFragile88

Anxiety won't leave me alone.

Have you tried any relaxation exercises? Calming music? Walking in nature? What do you enjoy/relaxes you?

[SallyBrown]

I feel crazy & stupid because I can't stop this vicious cycle.

You're neither of these things -- you are obviously having a REALLY hard time right now. Quitting the thing that makes you feel better when things are so hard, no matter how destructive you know it is, is HARD. I'm interested in Sannah's questions, but also wanted to tell you that what you're doing right now is difficult, and not because you're crazy or stupid.

This sounds a lot like me in high school. Insomnia is the worst and is its own vicious cycle. Try to focus on one thing at a time... thinking about everything at once is bound to be overwhelming.