Taking the step from scratching to cutting

I've been struggling really bad lately, I usually only scratched or very rarely cut, but this morning..I cut pretty badly, worse then I ever have, it was like I just couldnt stop myself, I have been increasingly getting worse and worse, and now idk how much farther i can go, the reason why i never used to cut badly is because I can't deal with physical pain well, its something caused by past events. But this time I just completely went past that, I've been increasingly going downhill with almost all my issues, my paranoia, anxiety,
depression.etc... its all just slipping further and further, I just wish It would all be over already.. but I dont know why this is happening now, a couple months back my situation might have even been worse, very big issue with my host family, and my grandma passed away. I've been increasingly waking up at night and having random nightmares, I dont know where this is all going but I cant deal with this any longer, am I going crazy? I have never had this much desire to harm myself, but I really want to try and contain this before it escalates even further, but I feel so hopeless...

Jarebear, hang in there! Take a moment and just think about how loved you are (yes, you are loved), think about places you like to be and imagine yourself there. Write down all the things that are bothering you, write about the urge to hurt yourself, and get everything out. Then rip up the paper, or keep it to remind you of all the things you aren't going to let control you. Remember that your body is a beautiful, complex, functioning creation and you do not, under any circumstances, deserve to be hurt, physically or otherwise.
Do you have a T or a p-doc? If the urges get worse, try to see one of them. If you don't have one, talking to a school couselor can help (sorry, didn't look up your age). If you need more help, please don't be afraid to get it!
Hope something I said will bring you comfort and well-being.
Katie

Could you be having some culture shock?