Failed

I was somewhere over two years free of SI. Tonight the pressure that has been building up finally overwhelmed me and I lost control. I cut several times on the same spot, progressively making the wound longer and deeper. I can't even say that I really regret it. It helped a little bit for a while. Don't know if I'll do it again but so far tomorrow's not looking good.

Figured the other option was suicide, and I'm not quite ready for that yet. Should have called a helpline, but I chickened out. Didn't want to try to explain this to a stranger.

and yet you came on here... that's a good thing. Yes talking can help, but the most important part now is to keep you safe in the up coming minutes/hours/days. do what you can, don't isolate... oh wait you already know what to do to stay safe (I hope)

Don't look at as a failure, look at it as a way to slip up, and you can keep going.

Hope this helps... it's hard yes, but it's possible.

bowhunt72,
Tomorrow IS a new day, please try to keep yourself safe. Do you have a therapist to talk to about what overwhelmed you? If not a therapist someone else? Keep posting here if you need to.
I don't know if helps but want you to know that I'm sending positive, safe and caring thoughts your way. Take care.

btw, i think cutting after two years of not cutting is NOT a failure! I think over two years is quite the success so please don't be so hard on yourself!