Cutting my Lips and Blood Pages

I don't know why I do this or what it means, but quite often, I pinch bits of skin from my lower lip so that it will bleed. This isn't an absent-minded habit like nail-biting, because the object is definitely blood. I want myself to bleed, and sometimes, I run my lips over paper until the whole page is full of blood. If I don't have paper, I'll use the back of my hand. In some cases, it's just something I do when I'm bored or when my hands have nothing to do, but I've noticed I do it a lot when I'm upset, nervous, or lonely. I've tried to stop several times, but it's an addiction, and quite honestly, it doesn't seem all that harmful. I've never felt the desire to cut myself anywhere else and I'm not suicidal. But seeing the blood and feeling the little tingle of pain gives me an acute sense of pleasure that I can't quite understand. I've heard this symptom is sometimes a part of OCD, but I don't display any other symptoms of OCD. So is this behavior part of a larger problem, or is it just something I should write off and ignore?

(((((( Morghana ))))))

Sounds like self-harm to me. Have a look in the Self Injury forum. Some people self-harm because they cannot deal with their emotions in other ways and it can become obsessive because it seems to make you feel better, but not a great way of coping.

I urge you to discuss this with your medical doctor. You are risking serious infection doing this and you're not allowing yourself to develop healthy habits to cope with life. Please tell your doctor.

I really don't think I'm risking "serious infection" by doing this. It's not healthy, I'll admit, but I've been doing it for years, since I was maybe 12 (I'm 20 now), and it's never caused an infection. My lips scab a little bit and tear easier when they're chapped, and that's all.

I know what I do isn't a "good" thing, but in eight years, I've never wished to harm myself in any other way. It may be an unhealthy habit, but it doesn't seem to be leading to more unhealthy habits.

So basically, I'm in this position: I have an addiction that's a little bit unhealthy. It isn't very dangerous and in eight years, it hasn't gotten any worse. It hurts only me and only a tiny bit for a short amount of time, but I enjoy the pain. I don't think the habit by itself is very dangerous. I'm more worried about whether it signifies something.

I'm not trying to discount any advice; I'm grateful. It's just that I really need to keep this in perspective. While it's not a good thing, I'm not ill, I'm not in danger, and my daily life is not being seriously impacted. It's an addiction, yes, but it's not exactly heroin.

Just because you haven't gotten an infection in all this time doesn't mean that you wont. You've been playing russian roulette here. The mouth is a disgusting place with loads of bacteria and acts as a breeding ground for all sorts of nasty things. So having open sores and such there can lead to infections just due to proximity of your mouth, and not the fact that the injury itself is serious.

I'm 20 as well so if you ever want to talk about anything feel free. I've been self-injuring for ten nearly 11 years now and although what you do isn't a common or stereotypical form it is still SI. Find a counsellor or someone and talk this over with.

Seriously? "Russian roulette"? That's a terrible overstatement. Say I did get an infection? I'd go to a doctor and get antibiotics. The end.

You guys may be trying to help, but it's hard to take you seriously when you treat something small like it's the end of the world. I pick a few pieces of skin off the surface of my lips, the cut bleeds, it heals. I wouldn't have even called it self-injury; this thread was moved from the "other mental health issues" forum to here without my permission.

Would everyone please stop assuming the worst? It's a small thing. It doesn't bother me. Or rather, it DIDN'T till all of you started talking about how terrible it was. I asked on a whim because I was curious to see what others thought, and now I wish I hadn't. I don't think there's anything to be gained from taking this too seriously. It's a stupid, perverse thing that I enjoy doing, and so what?

Ok, I'll let you know up front where I'm coming from and why I say what I say. I'm not a pdoc, I'm not a T. My medical knowledge comes mostly from my career as a firefighter/paramedic. My psych knowledge comes primarily from what pdocs and others have told me about my multiple diagnoses. I have also done a lot of reading and online research to try to educate myself about my illness.

I don't think you're risking a serious infection. I've probably had worse infections than what you're risking every time I've had a cold sore. What concerns me is what you say about enjoying the pain. That's self injury by definition, regardless of how mild the extent may be. You've been doing it for eight years and it's never gotten any worse. Good for you. A lot of us here aren't lucky enough to be able to say that. I never cut at all until my late 30s, but it has become at times a serious issue. I hope yours doesn't become that for you.

You say you know it isn't a good thing. You called it an addiction. You were concerned enough to post about it somewhere, even if the SI forum isn't where you wanted it. You say you're worried about whether the habit signifies something. I don't know your level of education, but you sound like an intelligent person. Aren't these things all valid reasons to consult a mental health professional?

Self injury isn't something I'd wish on anyone, and mine is pretty mild compared to what some of the other members here have to deal with. I sincerely hope yours never gets any worse. Please get professional help to make sure you're ok. Keep yourself safe.

Just my opinion as someone who has to live with this.

Stay safe.

I was trying to be helpful. You asked for our opinions, I gave mine. You needn't be rude about it because you don't happen to agree. And what I said was mine. I never said a serious infection, I said infection. So please don't misquote me here. I am easy to get along with and I am going to hold my tongue here and not say what I really want. Have a nice day, and a nice life.

Hi Morghana,

The reason your thread was moved to the SI forum was because that's what this issue is, it is SI. Our "Other Mental Health" forum should only be used for issues that there are no other forum for. Unfortunately, that forum moves quickly and we didn't want your thread to fall off the front page quickly and not get the proper reads and responses.

You are getting responses from members who have or are suffering with SI. They have had much experience with different kinds of SI and they know how it can manifest into something more serious. SI does not necessarily mean you are suicidal. There are many different reasons for SI'ing and everyone has their own. Sometimes it's a matter of discussing the situation with a professional to get to the root of why you are doing this.

Know that you can take whatever is written to you as you see fit. On a public forum we may not get the responses that we are really wanting, but that doesn't mean that they are anything but trying to be supportive and helpful. Support comes in many different ways.

I wish you well Morghana. I hope you can find something within this thread that helps you. Please take good care of yourself.

With Care,
sabby

I'm sorry I was rude. I didn't mean to be. But in all fairness, while you didn't say a "serious infection" in so many words, your comparing it to Russian Roulette implies to an enormous degree that any infection I got would be serious, if not fatal. My post may not have quoted you, but I rather think it got your implication exactly right. I don't want to start a quarrel. I apologize. I shouldn't have been rude.

I know why it was moved, but I just think that putting this in the SI forum implies that the issue is more serious than it is. Anyway, of all the posts I've looked through in this section, none of them are very similar to what I'm going through, and thus, a lot of the advice I'm getting doesn't feel all that geared toward my situation.

In general, though, I wish I had been consulted before the thread was moved, because its being here implies that I chose to label this "self-injury", which I didn't and which I still do not.

Hello Morghana, I'm sorry you feel that the advice given is not helpful to you.

Self injury/self harm is when you purposely injure yourself for some reason, and it's not by accident.

You said...

Many people self harm and the reasons can be varied. It can be for any of these reasons below.

a) A form of punishment.

b) A way to cope with psychological pain. That is to say some people prefer to feel physical pain rather than deal with emotional pain.

c) Boredom

d) With blood-letting people release endorphins and some people become addicted to that feeling when blood appears. (A rush.) Which is one of the reasons that some people will continue to self harm even though it may leave scars and it can be like an addiction.

I hope this helps you to understand a little better.

If I had to pick from the four reasons you're saying, I would say (c) and probably (d). But that doesn't mean that they're really the causes; it just means that out of the four things you said, (c) and (d) seem more likely than (a) and (b).

Even if (c) and (d) are the reasons, though, that doesn't really shed any light on it. I suppose everyone gets bored, and I suppose that everyone's brains would produce endorphins if they did this. Yet not only do most people not practice SI, I am apparently atypical of even those who do practice SI.

Thanks for the advice. I don't find everything here unhelpful, I just find it unhelpful when it's all blown out of proportion. I'm already inclined to overreact, and I don't need anyone's help with that.

In response to a question you posed in your original post...

Never ignore something that may be bothering you and that you'd like to stop. Yes, some behaviours can be more OCD tendencies than active self-injury but it's a matter of degree and intent.

Like me, for instance. I've dealt with self-injury (cutting, scratching etc) but I've also dealt with more obsessive acts - like dermatillomania (compulsive skin picking). So for me, when I was cutting it was a deliberate act, I wanted the pain and to see blood. When I compulsively pick at my fingers or bite the skin on my lips though - I'm not doing it for pain, I'm doing it because some part of my brain feels driven to do it. (I also tend to have less control over biting my lip than deliberately going to find something to self-injure with).

There is a large overlap sometimes between OCD type disorders and related actions in self injury. A good option if you're interested in exploring why you do it and how to stop it (because trust me, biting your lips too much will leave you open to nasty things - like cold sores - and your lips don't heal nicely!) would be to find a therapist/psychiatrist/counselor to talk to about this. Take care!

The pain releases endorphins which improve your mood, like all addictions.

When I used Russian Roulette as an analogy I wasn't using it to signify seriousness of infection just that you were chancing it. I didn't mean to imply that and I am sorry that it came across that way.