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#1
Mar 30, 2006, 01:47 AM
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i cut last night and i cut badly...
i know im working to try not to but i did i was told that i may have bipolar and i just couldnt handle that...not at the moment i cut all down my wrists and all down my thighs. i know its bad but i couldnt help it... i want to get rid of depression and move on i thought i could cut it out. im sorry for being such a failure im sorry for every living im sorry for being ME
__________________
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” Viktor Frankl
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#2
Mar 30, 2006, 01:47 AM
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i cut last night and i cut badly...
i know im working to try not to but i did i was told that i may have bipolar and i just couldnt handle that...not at the moment i cut all down my wrists and all down my thighs. i know its bad but i couldnt help it... i want to get rid of depression and move on i thought i could cut it out. im sorry for being such a failure im sorry for every living im sorry for being ME
__________________
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” Viktor Frankl
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#3
Mar 30, 2006, 02:06 AM
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Mily I am going through the same thing right now, completely. Newly Diagnosed bipolar, and cut a bunch.
but you know what, your post makes me realize what may have been part of why I started cutting again ((((millY)))) |
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#4
Mar 30, 2006, 02:06 AM
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Mily I am going through the same thing right now, completely. Newly Diagnosed bipolar, and cut a bunch.
but you know what, your post makes me realize what may have been part of why I started cutting again ((((millY)))) |
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#5
Mar 30, 2006, 02:26 AM
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Milly, they are only words. Words to try to describe how to help you. Can you stop for a second and really read what I want to say to you? Really, it made a big difference for me.
You are not your label you are you. When you hurt your body you are also doing your (SELF) harm. You very life core. If you can please try to take it on faith from those of us and our T's who have been around a while, Hurting yourself hurts you. stop because you know in the end it is a momentary release with so much pain after. You know it is not healthy for you. You want to struggle toward health and happiness. I hope this makes sense. I stopped, not because I wanted to or because the urge wasn't there but because I finally believed that it was hurting ALL of me. I believed that I had to change the behavior and the rest would follow. There are no miricles. There are also no cuts to hide from hubby and kids. I used to tell them the rabbits did it. They never saw the worst. Please think about it. Self Harm harms the SELF. |
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#6
Mar 30, 2006, 02:26 AM
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Milly, they are only words. Words to try to describe how to help you. Can you stop for a second and really read what I want to say to you? Really, it made a big difference for me.
You are not your label you are you. When you hurt your body you are also doing your (SELF) harm. You very life core. If you can please try to take it on faith from those of us and our T's who have been around a while, Hurting yourself hurts you. stop because you know in the end it is a momentary release with so much pain after. You know it is not healthy for you. You want to struggle toward health and happiness. I hope this makes sense. I stopped, not because I wanted to or because the urge wasn't there but because I finally believed that it was hurting ALL of me. I believed that I had to change the behavior and the rest would follow. There are no miricles. There are also no cuts to hide from hubby and kids. I used to tell them the rabbits did it. They never saw the worst. Please think about it. Self Harm harms the SELF. |
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#7
Mar 30, 2006, 04:11 AM
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Hugs Milly. I hope that you feel better real soon...
Ally |
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#8
Mar 30, 2006, 04:11 AM
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Hugs Milly. I hope that you feel better real soon...
Ally |
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#9
Mar 31, 2006, 02:58 PM
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I am sorry you are hurting.... I hope you feel a bit better soon ((((((((((( Milly )))))))))))))
__________________
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#10
Mar 31, 2006, 05:14 PM
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Milly, it is such a release when you cut. It releases all your feelings, the ones you understand and the ones you don't. But the first thing I thought of when I read your post was that you are at school and how are you going to hide them in gym or in the heat of summer. Trust me, it is no fun wearing long sleeved shirts 365 days a year. I am in the same place as you at the mo, and when you struggle with disassociativedisorder as well it really doesn't help. I have to make sure the kids are away from me when I get dressed, and I won't go in the water with them. It is a shame and embarassment as I am missing out on so much. It is even more shameful when I have to face up to the drs several times a week to get dressings changed- I can never leave scabs alone. For people who don't know me e.g. all the numerous hospital staff who take blood tests and insert luers i feel totally ashamed about telling them what all the marks are. The 1st really bad scars I did 9 years ago are starting to fade, but meant that my wedding dress had to be long sleeved- luckily I designed it myself so it all went together. But these are only the 'superficial' issues. I hope you are able to find just 1 activity that you could do to distraact yourself, and remember that you can't just stop overnight. (p.s. a confession...I SI last night too. Don't know what on earth I am going to tell my nurse...if my husband finds out he said he will fight me right through the courts to get the kids taken out of my care, and even that wasn't enough to stop me. Just too much stress...)
((((((milly))))))
__________________
I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!! |
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