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  #1  
Old Apr 01, 2006, 08:55 PM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
Today has been an awful day. And I then went and made it worse. Slipped Up *sighs*

I had posted before about having the urge to cut. Before this, only brusing and picking and scraping, not great but thought I had it under control. Slipped Up *sighs*

I guess not.

Cut myself. Not painful, peaceful. Which scares the **** out of me.

Slipped Up *sighs*

Slipped up one time, am I now stuck trying to get up the slippery slope without doing it again?

I don't know what the heck I'm doing anymore. Slipped Up *sighs*

I'm sorry. You all warned me not to do it. I guess I'm not a very good listener. Slipped Up *sighs*
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Slipped Up *sighs*

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  #2  
Old Apr 01, 2006, 09:17 PM
Lexicon78 Lexicon78 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2004
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(((((canders)))))

I slip up all the time! But don't beat yourself up just because you cut. Yes, it does feel good.

Somebody smack me, but I'm less concerned about you cutting than I am about why you cut. You see, the why brings on the urges. The why is what is killing us. We need to work on the why. Then and only then can we begin to change the result which is the cutting.

You can always hop on that wagon and start all over again.

Sending you lots of love and hugs!
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  #3  
Old Apr 01, 2006, 09:23 PM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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Thanks Lexicon.

I don't know why I did it. Honestly. If it makes any sense, I zoned out... Disconnected.
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Slipped Up *sighs*
  #4  
Old Apr 02, 2006, 12:23 AM
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sujunew sujunew is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Posts: 941
Disassociating is what makes it so easy to hurt ourselves. I 'slipped up' last night but never felt a THING. I have an awful lot riding on whether I SI or not- my husband who I separated from 2 weeks ago has said that if I SI 1x more then he will go thru every court in the land to get the kids taken off me. He has been given literature to read and talked to by mental health professionals about SI and why ppl can't just stop it, but he does not understand at all and doesn't seem to want to. But anyway, I got off topic a bit here. So you had to find a release to your emotions. As long as you don't do it in a dangerous place (on your body) that is the main thing. Just keep trying to throw back those urges...it is SO hard so never beat yourself up about it. Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs*
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I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!!

  #5  
Old Apr 02, 2006, 10:39 AM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
Thanks irish. Slipped Up *sighs*

Woke up this morning not feeling so great, but I'm going to try to get over yesterday.
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Slipped Up *sighs*
  #6  
Old Apr 02, 2006, 08:03 PM
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sujunew sujunew is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
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every day brings a new challenge, but if you write a list and try to achieve a certain number of tasks on that list that can help you feel better too. I am battling with the kids at the mo so gotta go. Heaps of hugs and best wishes to you. Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs* Slipped Up *sighs*
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I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!!

  #7  
Old Apr 02, 2006, 08:09 PM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
Thanks. Slipped Up *sighs* Yep, I got that suggestion. Apparently some of my discontent about school might be my lack of tasks to complete. I'm only marked on exams. *sigh* So I'm doing the list of tasks. I stopped for a bit, but since you suggested it, I guess I'm starting again!! Slipped Up *sighs*
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