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#1
Jun 19, 2012, 01:36 AM
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hi. so im going to be a senior in high school, and last year i finally gained the courage to stand up against my dad who abused me for 15 years and i told my school counselor. now i never have to see him again. although, a couple of months ago, i was put in the hospital for suicidal thoughts. my therapist and my mom and family think im doing fine...
theyre wrong. i have to stay strong for my mom. she and my step dad always fight, were losing our house, and it would just be another thing on top of everything if she knew i was still in a bad place. about three months ago, a little before the hospital trip, i started cutting. it wasnt alot, i would just do little scratches. but about one month ago, it got worse. i started using a razor blade, and now i cant seem to stop. my best friend who i trust with everything knows, my youth pastor, and my moms friend who is like my aunt both know. my moms friend is telling me that i owe my mom to tell her what im doing. but i cant. i told my therapist a couple ofweeks ago about it and she said "oh thats not good you might need medicatiion" so now she thinks i dont do it anymore. i dont know what to do, and i have a feeling its going to get worse from here on out. i cant trust my therapist, and ill plan out what im going to tell her before i go and then once ii get in there i forget everything. i asked my mom if i could switch therapists and she said no. so idk what to do. |
 Angelornot, Idiot17, JustDontAsk, tomboy2011
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#2
Jun 19, 2012, 12:45 PM
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Is there a reason you are against the idea of medication? It sounds like you are going through an extremely tough time right now, and meds have many short term benefits, especially to help make therapy less stressful. It doesn't mean you necessarily need to be on them forever. As for the lying, my signature use to say "lying to run, and running to lie". It's one of the side effects of cutting that people often don't think about. Everything becomes about lying and hiding and shame. One lie will just lead to more, and the farther down this road you travel the more shame you will feel and the more lies you will need to cover up. Eventually you'l probably lie to those you are being honest with right now because you don't want to scare or worry or lose them. I would really stick with your T for now, and discuss possible treatment options and alternative coping strategies.
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
 katieranger
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#3
Jun 28, 2012, 03:13 PM
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Sorry that things are so tough for you right now. I wonder what you mean when you say you don't trust your T?
Keep safe - Soup
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Soup |
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#4
Jun 28, 2012, 06:15 PM
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Are you taking on your mom's and step dad's stress? Are you working on the abuse in therapy?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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