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#1
Jul 18, 2012, 03:41 PM
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I have no idea why I did it. I have been thinking about cutting for a while now, but I never thought I'd actually do it. And now I did it. And it's done. I have a red line across my wrist. And it's ugly. And it feels weird. It's like I crossed some kind of line and I can never go back. I told my mom about it, so at least I didn't keep it a secret. Now I have to tell my T also. I'm really scared. Maybe he'll dump me. Maybe I'm too hard to work with. Maybe I just keep messing myself up. Maybe I don't really want to get better.
All the ifs in the world, and nothing concrete in my head. Everything is spinning, way too fast. I keep getting worse and more out of control. I set some goals for myself, positive ones, so at least I have something. I hate myself, and I don't know what to think about myself anymore. I really didn't want to go this far. luv, lbdrox |
 afterrain, Idiot17, pandarama123456789
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#2
Jul 18, 2012, 04:05 PM
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OK, here's the thing, now that you've started cutting, don't do it on your arms or your lower legs. Do it where you can cover up, because you'll regret it, and like me, you think you have all control, but you lose it, but then you end up with 600+ scars on your legs top to bottom, stomach and arms top to bottom.
I've basically run out of room and wanting to take the razor to my face and my neck and stuff, but I know I'll regret it once more, just like I did with the body that I hide under clothes. Your therapist won't abandon you for self-harming, they are there to help you, they are not allowed to judge you like that.
__________________
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#3
Jul 18, 2012, 04:14 PM
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I don't want to cut. I really don't and I don't know why I started. I'm just really scared. Thx for the advice though.
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#4
Jul 18, 2012, 06:50 PM
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What was going on with your when you decided to cut? Where did you get the idea to cut?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#5
Jul 18, 2012, 08:25 PM
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I've been reading a book (shocking I know) and I've found my new motto.
"Do the next right thing" don't think about the future, the ifs, the what thens. Just focus on the current moment. Everything we do in life is a choice. Right before you make a decision ask yourself if it is the right thing. It's been really relieving for me to focus on one step at a time and is helping me to abide by the one moment at a time/one day at a time motto.
__________________
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
| lbdrox
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 lbdrox, pandarama123456789, pbutton, Sannah
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#6
Jul 18, 2012, 11:06 PM
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Quote:
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#7
Jul 19, 2012, 02:14 PM
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Quote:
What else could you have done while you were angry?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#8
Jul 19, 2012, 09:42 PM
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[QUOTE=Sannah;2456450]Sounds like you jumped in with both feet on this?
What else could you have done while you were angry?[/QUOTE In the past, I would have held my breath or ate. So this time I did eat, but it didn't do anything. I went shopping tonight and that calmed me down a little bit. Unfortunately, I had to spend some money to feel that happiness. I'm slightly addicted to all these things. (Just slightly!) luv, lbdrox |
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#9
Jul 20, 2012, 08:56 AM
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How about talking about your anger?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#10
Jul 20, 2012, 02:26 PM
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Quote:
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#11
Jul 20, 2012, 06:37 PM
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I hope that you spend a lot of time working on your anger in therapy.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#12
Jul 22, 2012, 03:14 AM
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Quote:
luv, lbdrox |
| Sannah
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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