[sujunew]

I am really scared that after the last time I cut (um, NOT the last time I SIed ) I did some real damage, and I don't know who to see. Every time I have had to talk about anything to do with it, I get haunting flashbacks of the most gruesome part- the only part of it I remember doing probably thanks to these flashbacks. It was about 4 weeks ago, but is still getting dressed every other day due to infection, and as it is on my upper leg I have been unable to go to the gym or do much walking. I decided everything felt fine today so I took the dog for a walk- our usual route (that is about 5km). 1/2 way round the whole of my upper thigh got really sore, and the muscle or something didn't feel 'right'. I am just really scared that I really have gone 'too far' this time and done some major damage to a muscle, tendon or ligament as the cut was so deep. But who should I see? I am scared to talk about it with anyone coz of the flashbacks- I can't cope with them when I am thinking about my leg let alone when I have to talk to someone about it... HELP!!!

[lenjan]

I wish I had some good ideas for you, but all I seem to be able to come up with is ((((((hugs))))))). Feel free to PM if you want to talk.

Love, Candy

I'm so sorry Irish. I do hope you get some medical care for your leg. I;d hate for any infection to get worse.

[Rapunzel]

Irish,

I'm sorry. Who is dressing your wound? If someone is helping with that, maybe they could help you get it seen by a doctor. Even though it's hard, it sounds like you are going to have to let a doctor look at it, or maybe a nurse, but someone with medical training. Just try if you can to find one who will be understanding and less intimidating. Maybe they won't ask for explanations. Is there anyone near you who can recommend a doctor like that?

((((hugs)))))
Rap

[Lexicon78]

If you don't have a medical doctor at this point, it would be wise to get one. You could always go to the emergency room, too.

It really sounds like you need medical attention and you cannot ignore this!

[sujunew]

thanks everyone. I'm just sitting here thinking about the s#$t I have got myself into again, and all for the sake of what??? I never even felt it as I cut anyway. District nurse is dressing it, and will be here tomorrow so I will see if I dare say anything. Had my mother going on and on at me 2nite about needing to keep going to the gym as it is so therapeutic- all very well for her to say when she doesn't know anything about this. I kinda mentioned vaguely about having hurt my leg- the muscle or 'something' I said but that didn't get her off my case ...

Hang in there Irishsj

A district nurse - then you are getting medical attention. so glad. Being a district nurse the person has seen cutting before so most likely the nurse already knows you did this. The nurse hasn't put you down about it yet has she/he? so the person is not going to jump al over you now if you come right out and tell him/her. Then that person can point you in the right direction for more indepth treatment in the event that you did do damage to the muscle. since you can walk on it not too much damage has been done. The thigh muscles are used when walking otherwise when you lift up to take a step you would not be able to do anything but kick your other leg and foot and move no where. You would also not be able to stand because it is the contracting and relaxing of the thigh muscles that work to help a person stand up from a sitting position and even going from a prone (laying down) position to sitting up a person has to use/contract (squeeze) their thigh muscles. I have cerebral palsy and my leg muscles don't always work as they should and so I go through rounds of rehab to strengthen each of my leg muscles. When one goes down my ability to even walk and go from laying down to sitting up is kaput. Take care.