How do I handle this?

Please help. I'm not doing very well right now my anxiety is through the roof. I think it's become pretty clear that my former roommate is a major tigger for me. She called tonight and left a message . Wasn't really a bad one but it brought up a bunch of hurt feelings and bad memories plus I know the reason she called was due to my husband asking her to and he is a even bigger trigger.
I cut for the first time in weeks and trying so hard not to again. I actually thought of calling for help but that would just cause me more trouble in the long run and I don't want to leave my dogs. It's in the middle of the night so I don't have anyone awake I can call.
How do I tell my former roommate not to call without hurting her? I feel so bad but I cannot deal with having her in my life. I know she has anxiety too but is much more of a angry person. I have a hard time in the idea of hurting anyone no matter what I go to great lengths to avoid that possibility even if it means hurting myself but I truely feel so horrible right now afraid alone and angry at myself for letting this get to me so much and not having more control

well u could tell her the truth tell her that when she calls bad memorys retern she should understand

Can you block her calls? Will you talk to your T about this? (That this friend triggers you and why).

I'm not sure but I will call the phone company and ask. I will talk to the therapist was really really a mess last night early am came very close to calling 911

Looks like on a prepaid phone numbers can't be blocked. I emailed a friend that met my roommate once or twice asked her how I should handle it. Hopefully that will help.

Good work!

Maybe you could change your phone number and not give it to her?

Just tell her the truth n be stright up ... in order for you to get better n to save ur self from hurting ur selfu need to only worrie about your self u need to make shure you are stable n in a normal state of mind again instead of staying the way ur roommate made you feel make shure ur taken care of first befor anyone else ... I wish u the best of luck

This may trigger*****
I did finally send my ex roommate a email and told her I couldn't handle her contacting me and asked her not to because it's hurting my health. I felt horrible doing it but as my friends told me she had no trouble in hurting me. I still have trouble with it no matter what she did yet I still feel anger towards her and myself.
I'm also disappointed in myself because I had managed not to cut for several weeks till her call but now it's just as bad and I'm afraid because I go both to the doctor and therapist on weds. I feel afraid and embarrassed. I still can't get a hold of it though and I'm afraid they will find out and it will cause trouble. They don't know about it.
The Xanax the doctor gave me hasn't really helped. My lawyer whom is also a friend was trying nicely to find out about my Dad and we talked about the animals my husband sent to slaughter and I totally lost it in front of her. I felt so bad and she probably saw what a nut I am. Normally I can shut down and save people from the reaction but I just couldn't.
Today is a really hard day too. It's my Dads Birthday. I sent my Mom a happy b day text for him but I feel just horrible. I can't handle talking to them and I feel bad bout that and that they never call or want to talk to me even when I call them. I feel like a really horrible person. I feel like like I failed them as a daughter and if I had been more like my sister they would want something to do with me. I feel horrible because I googled my dad and found a photo of him and he looks not a thing like I remember. My grandma was telling me his health was bad and I can't help but feel I will never have any type of a normal relationship with him because of what he did, continues to do and my inability to trust. I also know my mon and sister will never forgive me if things don't get fixed and this also makes me sad.
Them I have again been thinking about the few friends I do love with all my heart but I can't trust anyone and I hate that about myself. I either think they will hurt me someday or find out I'm too messed up and leave me. I'm afraid to get close to them and I honestly don't get why they would want to be my friend that they will sooner or later wake up wise up and get the hell away from me. I feel bad I feel this way because I do care about them and think they are good people but I still very strongly feel that wAy.

Sounds like they have failed you as parents not the other way around.