[HomeDawg]

I cant stop cutting.This just started recently.
about 2 months ago when my parents started abusing me.and then i found out i was bi-polar,
adhd,and possibly ocd.its gotten worse about 2 weeks ago when my parents went to jail.I was cutting last
year after i got sexually abused for over a year by my old Pdoc.but,thistime its worse.I cant do anything
without cutting.I just dont know what to do anymore.if anyone has any answersplease answer me back asap!!!!!!!

[Evangelista]

Homedawg...are you in Therapy now?..if you are you need to talk this thru with your T ASAP..from what you stated you are in such pain already and this is just manifesting itself thru the cutting..please seek help..you are in my thoughts..

[Greenleaves]

Please don't cut yourself.

I think you need to tell someone about your cutting and the abuse. Do you have a new pdoc?

Try taking away all sharp things maybe?

I hate that you're feeling like cutting.

[HomeDawg]

hi,im not in therapy right now.For me cutting is like breathing i need it to survive.i just dont know wat to do anymore.ive almost given up trying altogether.i just
dont know anymore.thanks for the advice EV.

[HomeDawg]

hi,thanks both of u for your advice.i hope i can bring my self up enough to take it.

[bipolar_bear]

I am sorry you are hurting so much right now. Sometimes it seems that things are so overwhelming that we have no choice. I hope you find some help seeing that there really are other choices. Please take care of yourself and seek out help. There is hope. Feel free to PM me any time.

[Sir_Hugzalot]

This is so sad, you shouldn't have to go through this. Cutting yourself isn't the way forward and by god you've had to endure too much already. You are strong. To post this here took bravery. None of what has happened to you is your fault!

In my opinion you do need help and support, as much as possible as fast as possible. Posting here is a good start. When you feel like cutting could you post here instead? PM me anytime you feel you need.

[(JD)]

You can stop cutting, but it might take time and hard effort. First though, stop saying you can't...that trains the brain to believe "can't" rather than can. Tell yourself you WILL quit... and work towards that goal.

Your folks need to know... why not contact your school counselor?

[HomeDawg]

hi,
thanks everyone for the advice.Sky,i cant tell my parents cause,for 1.they are the most blame for my problems and 2.they are in jail.i cant call my school counsellor cause school is out for the summer.but,
thanks for the advice and,i will try to stop cutting.

[sujunew]

HomeDawg,
you have been thru so much and esp in such a short time. You need to find a way (a safe way) to release all of what you are feeling, and coz you are so young you will come away from all of this a whole lot stronger with the right help and support, but if you continue the SI you will also end up scarred for life physically. I know that SI is often something that can't be stopped just by 'wanting to'- I have a prob where I dissociate and don't even realise I have done anything (take this morning for e.g.:- I discovered a new scar which must have been there for nearly a week and I had not even noticed up til now...). It is about finding safe alternatives. I really like reading the stickys in this forum, esp about reasons not to. I am someone who is totally embarrassed by each and every scar, and I look so hard for clothes to hide them. I would love to stop hurting myself in this way but the triggers are more than I can fight at times. PLEASE find someone who you can talk this over with, and all the stuff that has been going on in your life. As I said to you in chat recently altho you are young you are so mature; please do this for you and to help get yourself on a better track and well.
(((((homedawg)))))

[Lexicon78]

Have you looked at the posted thread on what to do instead of cutting? I know you said one thing worked (in private message) and I think that's good. Another thing you could try, if you have any, is holding ice until it is completely melted. Just squeeze it as tight as you can and let it melt in your hand.

I'm always here if you need to talk.

[Valis]

I did that before...it works. Good advice.

[HomeDawg]

Thanks everyone for the support and advice.I used to be one of the most popular girls at my school but,
recently I have been hanging out with a new crowd.
They understand me more than my other friends do.
They understand what im going through and why I
wear black and everything.But,today while I was in my
bedroom reading (like always) my sister came in and
told me I should invite my best friend Harli over (she's
also in the popular crowd)and play soccer or go
shopping like we used to.and I did and we had a great
time and I almost forgot about all the bad things in my
life.I even got a bunch of cool outfits (some of which werent even black).I told Harli about whats going on and why I havent hung out with her for awile and I
found out something I never knew about her.She has OCD.I was really surprised.So I guess a few of my old friends understand me more than I thought.

[Rapunzel]

That's great! I'm glad to hear that you had a good time with Harli. She sounds like a good friend, and I bet she could probably understand more than maybe you thought.

Sometimes thinking about the bad things in our lives too much just doesn't help. It's too easy to make that our whole identity, and lose a lot of the good things about you. Remember that there is a lot more to who you are than what happened to you or what is wrong in your life. That stuff hurts, but I hope you won't let it stop you from living your life and being you.

I wasted a lot of years just feeling limited by what I thought I couldn't do, and wanting other people to notice that I wasn't okay and sympathize and relate to my struggles. It was miserable and not worth it at all. Now I'm trying to recover some of my dreams and do some of those things I didn't think I could. It's not so easy after you wait 20 or 30 years. You can take charge of your life now and I hope you don't let anything stop you from enjoying life and reaching your potential.

[HomeDawg]

thanks,ev,green,bear,hug,sky,andirish for all the advice.I tried the ice trick and it WORKED!!!I also have
a date friday night with a really hot,popular guy.Hes
also on the football,baseball,and basketball teams.
Things are getting a little better for me now.Thanks.

[bloodyengel]

You can stop cutting. It's not a matter of trying it's a matter of doing. You just have to tell yourself you'll stop. and you will stop it might not seem like you will, but you will. Have a sliver of faith...

[brielle]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
HomeDawg said:
I cant stop cutting.This just started recently.
about 2 months ago when my parents started abusing me.and then i found out i was bi-polar,
adhd,and possibly ocd.its gotten worse about 2 weeks ago when my parents went to jail.I was cutting last
year after i got sexually abused for over a year by my old Pdoc.but,thistime its worse.I cant do anything
without cutting.I just dont know what to do anymore.if anyone has any answersplease answer me back asap!!!!!!!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> This is my first time here and one of the reasons Im here is because I want to start cutting again. I started when I was 17 and it continued into my 20's. Im almost 25 now and I havent cut for almost two years mainly for vanity reasons. I understand the struggle inside your mind. I am facing it again. I am in the middle of a divorse from an abusive man that I still have feelings for. I'm being seperated from the Navy because of my borderline personality disorder, anxiety disorder, and depression. Im facing a whole new life as a civilian All I can think of to get some control is to slice my arms up or maybe my legs so I can wear jeans and cover the scars. I still have scars on my arms that I tell peopole are from a car accident when they ask!! I have a proposal lets keep eachother from cutting ourselves.

[brielle]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Valis said:
I did that before...it works. Good advice.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[brielle]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Lexicon78 said:
Have you looked at the posted thread on what to do instead of cutting? I know you said one thing worked (in private message) and I think that's good. Another thing you could try, if you have any, is holding ice until it is completely melted. Just squeeze it as tight as you can and let it melt in your hand.

I'm always here if you need to talk.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> This is my first time on. I cant get in touch with my pdoctor are you able to talk?

[(JD)]

Why can't you ask whomever is taking care of you to help? I wonder why children aren't able to ask an adult for help. Isn't your school in session for anyone? No summer work being done by teachers? Have you called to see, maybe even the principal is in...they know how to help too. If your parents are in jail, why not ask the police for help? There are plenty of avenues to take for help. Which ones do you think you can try?