feeling the need to hurt myself

I haven't carved any words into my body since I was nineteen so it's been four years of struggling to not hurt myself. For the most part I can fight it but my skin gets itchy and the only way to make it stop is to use a sanitary sharp object to carve a new word some place no one will notice. The past year the itch has been getting worse and I resorted to using the inside my closet door but I have run out of room and after shearing my hair off I am becoming more agitated. I really don't want to go back down that road of having to hide the scars and lie to people or cause them worry. I'm scared of myself but I will continue to fight this need.

Are you seeing a therapist about this problem? I think it would help a great deal.

What did the rest of you say? What helps you?

I have been to several therapists. The first time I was twelve and she tried to convince me I was a bused as a child when I told her I was sure that never happened she told my parents and our Priest I said that I had been molested by my brother. I told her off then I told my mom to find a real doctor and not the church appointed one. Then next child psychologist pumped me full of pills that my general doctor took me off of and all the rest were pretty must the same. They wanted me to believe I had this huge childhood trauma or they wanted me took take the meds that killed my will to do anything. Sure I stopped wanting to hurt myself but I also stopped getting out of bed.
Sorry that was a lot. Good news is I had a good day, clipped my nails short and kept my mind on much healthier outlets for my anxiety and stress.

A lot has changed in therapy over this last decade. You would be in charge of finding a T and not your parents.

I read your profile and you wrote what sounds like you are being hurt in your relationships?