[notwantingtolive]

things in my life have been getting really stressfull...i started cutting myself about a week ago so i could see if i can still feel... i dont know what to do bc i cant tell ne 1 what i am doing, they just wouldnt understand...now i think about taking my life, it just seems like it would b easier if i wasnt around... no 1 would miss me, i dont know if any one would even notice, sur my parents would b upset 4 a while, but i dont think they would realy care, what should i do?

RA

[somebodyelse]

<font color=purple>(((((((((((((((((((RA))))))))))))))))))))</font color=purple>

Sweetheart, you need to get help immediately. You don't have to suffer from this pain. On the homepage of this website, there is a message for anyone who is feeling suicidal. You can use that link or call your local suicide helpline or crisis line. My best advice, though, is that you go right now to the emergency room and tell them how you're feeling and that you've been cutting.

You would be surprised how much better you can feel with therapy and/or medication, so PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!
Your life is precious, and you deserve to live it to its fullest!

[somebodyelse]

P.S. for RA----please post again. I am very worried!

[Rapunzel]

If you would like to tell us a little more about yourself maybe we could be a little more helpful. Please call a crisis line or go to the emergency room or get someone to help you. I know that feeling too (that it would be easier not to be around), but things don't stay that bad. Let us know what happens, okay?

[notwantingtolive]

hey-- thanks 4 the advice...i dont know what to do, life is just so ****in hard and pointless. i just want it to talk 2 sum 1 who actually understands, i just tried to tell my best friend...she just doesnt understand

RA

[notwantingtolive]

what would u like to know about me?

RA

[Rapunzel]

Well, what is going on in your life right now that is making you feel so bad? Also, if you want to introduce yourself, you could tell us things like how old you are, whether you are male or female, what you do (student, profession, hobbies, etc.). What would you like to tell us?

[somebodyelse]

(((((((((((((((((((RA))))))))))))))))))))

Your friend can't understand your feelings, unless she's experienced them herself (or is trained to understand them). We are here to support you and we do understand how you're feeling.

I hope that you will decide to go to the emergency room, RA, because you are in crisis and you need support in 3D by people who know how to help you to get through the crisis and begin to heal.

[Zenobia]

RA,
As a parent I will say that parents never get over the loss of a child. It just doesn't happen unless they are severely mentally ill. You said they would be upset for awhile which indicates that they do indeed care about you. They would never get over it. I have a co-worker who lost her child over 20 years ago. She still cries on occasion when she tells me about something having to do with her child. And my co-worker is a tough old lady.

I used to be severely suicidal. I would think about it practically every minute of the day. I would even get vivid pictures in my head of me dead after I had done it. They were so vivid I would be left wondering if I had actually done it and was just a ghost. I felt that there was no hope and no reason to go on. No one really cared about me, I wasn't worth caring about. Everyone would be better without me because I was just a piece of poo on the foot of the world stinking everything up. It was depression talking.

I have been in therapy for awhile now, I have been on meds. Right now I can honestly say I am happy. When I think back to those days I creeps me out because I was so close to ending it all and I would have missed out on what I have now and this time with those people who truely do love me and would still be hurting if I had died.

What I am saying is that life can get better. It doesn't seem like it now but it can. Go to your parents, tell them what you are feeling. They may not understand but they will most likely get you some help. If not--some parents are not emotionally equipped to deal with this sort of thing even though they still love you--go to the hospital ER and tell someone there. You will be cared for, they will get you on the path to finding the happiness in your life that is hiding from you right now. Please get some help.
Carrie

[notwantingtolive]

my nmae is rhea anne but ppl just call me ra...im a 16 year old girl, im a junior at shelby county high school... i dont really know the exact reason im feeling this way... i just feel really lonley, and no 1 really loves me...ppl say they do but i have a hard time trusting them...about 7 months ago my bofriend died...he was the only person i could trust and tlk 2 about theese things... and ever since he died, i have no 1 to tlk 2

RA

[Zenobia]

Sweet RA,
People often develop depression after the loss of a loved one. This is a normal reaction to losing someone who was so important to you. You can get help and you can feel better. You will always miss him, he will always be a part of you but you are still alive and are meant to be. Please get some help. Tell you parents or your school counsoler how you feel. They will help you as you grieve for you boyfriend. Also keep coming here, most of us have lived with depression and the feelings you are experiencing right now. We do understand the depth of the pain and the struggle to get better.
Take care dear one,
Carrie

[Rapunzel]

Thanks for the introduction, Ra. It is nice to meet you. I am sorry to hear about your boyfriend - that's pretty traumatic. And if your grief has not been recognized and accepted (which seems to happen sometimes, especially when you are a teenager), then maybe that is part of where your lonliness now comes from.

Talking about it is likely to help you feel better. You are welcome to talk to us here, but please also talk to someone in real life (parents, a school counselor, or go to the ER) about how you are feeling. They can help.