pushing the boundries

I know I committed to stay safe over the weekend until I see my T again on Monday, but I keep wanting to give in... so I push my limits and sit with it but not use it... the draw is so great... how does anyone do this by themselves? I miss having the support of available staff when my head gets in this space. I don't want to be back in the hospital, but I am not the most reliable person when it comes to self-control with this... just have to make it until Monday...

hugs and peace to all who are struggling... I wish us all strength to get through this... it sucks.

I'm sorry you're struggling, I do too. Can you call anyone to get some support?

not really... I talk to my wife every now and then while she is out of town, but she's not always available... I was given someone else's number, but I don't feel right bothering her on the weekend (a clinician)...

"use art" she had said. "draw it out to help express it all"

I don't think she meant it the way I did it, but it helped... does anyone else draw out what they want to do to themselves? does it make you feel better? or worse? I'm finding the graphic drawings make it better in the moment, but just like the si itself, it doesn't help in the long run...

I don't really have time now, but I used to draw a lot. Not what I wanted to do, just anything at all, it helped to be focused on something and wanting to get it right and perfect each time made me concentrate and so took my mind off things. It helped at times, other times it didn't. Maybe instead of focusing on drawing what you want to do, you could draw other things? As we're all individuals, it's hard to say what will help and what won't, I guess you have to try a lot of things before you find what works for you. But I think the main thing is getting absorbed into something else other than the thoughts to hurt yourself.
I wouldn't worry about bothering someone at the weekend, that's what they're there for, if you need help and support then call them. I'm here too if you want to PM me to talk