[Chippie]

Hello, I'm new here so I guess the first thing I should do is introduce myself. I'm a 19 year old college student, I have been SI since high school, I had quit for a while my first year of college, I figured I'd try starting fresh but soon it started coming back. pressure from school and family and friends began to build. I had everyone telling me I was stupid that I had ruined their day/ life and how could they stand being around me. I began to get frustrated and I just hurt so bad, cutting just eased the pain it seemed, I feel like I deserve it when I do it, and it feels like im releasing that tension inside. I looked at what I had done yesterday and I couldn't believe how bad it really was. I know it hurts more than just me and it's getting harder to hide the wounds, I can't think about what everyone would say if they found out, my parents would freak out, whenever the subject comes up they just start in about how they don't know how anyone can do that and they must be pretty messed up to do that. It makes me feel worse like I'm something horrible. People here seem really nice so I thought I'd give joining up here a go.

Chippie - It's great that you found this site. That means that you are looking for a way to change and find a healthier way to deal with the stress and sadness in your life. Please take the next step....contact the school's counseling center. You can get help for free from someone who won't freak out and judge you for your SI. They have lots of experience working with people who do the same thing. It really helps to talk to someone in person and they can make sure you stay safe while you work through the stress of being away at school, and all those papers you have to write, and piles of works, and friends who don't get it, etc. Please call and make an appointment.

Of course, the people here will be tons of support for you too! There are some wonderfully understanding and supportive people here. You did a GREAT thing by coming here.

I'm glad to meet you and hope you have a SAFE day.

Emmy

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." -- The Dalai Lama

[Zenobia]

Hi and Welcome,
I am glad you found us. I feel that it is not so much as quitting self injuring as it is learning not to self injure. So I second and third ozzie and emily's advice. Getting help through the counselors at school is useful because they are more able to get to the bottom of the issues that lie under the surface of self injury. Coming here is wonderful as well because the people here have been through it, they have had successes and failures and truely understand how difficult it is to stop this habit. They are able to draw from their success to give good advice to help you through the day and they can draw on their failures to provide the empathy that the rest of the world lacks toward this problem. We are working toward getting better together and I am glad you are here to help us along as we help you.
Take care and welcome once again,
Carrie

[PlanningtoLive]

Chippie, welcome to the boards.

Most people that haven't done it really don't understand the tremendous amount of relief there is in SI. I have just recently stopped and it is very hard to do.

No one that knows me could understand my reasoning for it - it is a relief valve to stop the pressure and help me cope. There are many of us here that have experience to help and understand you.

You need to find out what the problem is, how to deal with the frustration instead of cutting. The "cat scratching" doesn't work for very long.

Do you have a therapist that you see, or someone that you can talk to? I have been seeing mine for about 2 1/2 years now and even though I fight him tooth & nail sometimes, he is the only one who accepts me as I am and has been there 24/7 to listen and help.

If there is anything I can do, please PM me and let me know - even if it is just to listen.

Mary Alice

[Rapunzel]

Hi Chippie,

Have you had treatment for this before? Self injury is a way of trying to deal with pressures and feelings that are too much to handle. It isn't enough just to decide to stop hurting yourself - you need to learn what to do about the things that are making you want to SI. I encourage you to go to your college counseling center. They can help you. I'm sorry that you hurt so much. Glad you have joined us - it really helps to be understood, and we do understand what it's like, since a lot of us have been there too.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Chippie]

Thanks everyone for responding, everyone here seems really nice. I will try taking your advice and tallk to a school councler, the big thing holding me back from doing that is that the ones at my school have a bad rep for not being helpful at all. I have been trying to take notice what makes me want to cut and avoid that but it seems as soon as I get past one thing another shows up but I guess thats just how stuff works. I'll be sure to keep posting, and thanks again.