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#1
Jun 23, 2013, 02:14 PM
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I've not had a good day. I had nightmares this morning (the one time I'm allowed to sleep in til 9, ugh), then I was woken up so I could clean up after the family breakfast (which means everyone else, not me, there were no leftovers but I got other food later myself). My stepdad made a couple comments about what a wonderful breakfast it was and I don't know why but I just felt this wave of anger and stabbed at my arm with a straw I was holding when no one was looking. It hurt enough that I was nervous it would bruise, but all it did was leave a few little scratches on my arm that only sting if I touch them. Then my stepdad started complaining about my lack of a job and I went to get my computer to start applying (which I've been doing) and he said I was "spazzing like [you] always do." And me and my girlfriend got into an argument because she keeps saying my mom is a ***** and that I'm being abused and my stepdad is chewing really loud and everyone thinks I'm a lazy loser and they're right but I feel bad being reminded about it... And then just as my gf was feeling better I had to be a huge ****ing baby and get all whiny again and GOD I JUST HATE MY SELF.
I'm just whining right now but I need to vent because it keeps my hands busy before I scalp myself or hurt myself and I have no one I can trust to talk to... |
 Moodswing, ThisWayOut
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 ThisWayOut
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#2
Jun 23, 2013, 02:27 PM
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Oh **** it, I don't even care. I give in.
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| Victoria'smom
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#3
Jun 23, 2013, 03:18 PM
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Do not hurt yourself. We're in this together. I gave in today and I feel so much guilt. It is really hard to stop once you start.
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#4
Jun 27, 2013, 07:54 AM
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If you knew me personally, you'd gladly HELP me hurt myself.
I'm just trying hard not to delete my account here, fire my therapist, and quit group therapy. I'm only trying at all for my girlfriend's sake, but I'll probably do it anyway because that's the sort of dumbass thing I'm prone to do. I feel worse telling people about it anymore anyway. All it does is spread misery and hate. I'm an embarrassment to the family, and all I'm doing now is humiliating myself. So I'm done. I'm just locking myself in my room until I can stop being selfish and start acting like a human being. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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