Hateful...

Ok, so here I am, again. Posting again. Not knowing what to say again. And Hateful doesn't really even apply here. I am so tired of everything right now and I just want to go away. It gets on my nerves so much because I have all this good stuff going on in my life, but I can't seem to enjoy anything. I know that I should be happy, but should and reality are two different things. I put on this fake happiness, so good at it, and it's not real, I am only real at home, and even then sometimes i pretend. It's so stupid....I'm so stupid. I hate this...I hate the way I am. It makes me so mad. *sigh*

[b] I used to be so big and strong I used to know my right from wrong I used to never be afraid, I used to be somebody, I used to have something inside now it's just this hole that's open wide, I'll cross my heart I'll hope to die, but the needle's already in my eye, what I used to think was me is just a fading memory....--NIN [b]

I'm sorry you're feeling like this dreamer, I wish I could help. The first thing that popped into my mind was part of a song by Yellowcard called Believe

"But you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed

Everything is going to be alright
Everything is going to be alright
Everything is going to be alright
Be strong, believe"

No matter what, keep breathing.

Silentscream

I was wondering if you are being treated for depression. The stuff you wrote made me think of how I was before I got on anti-depressants. I knew that I should be happy, I had everything that I needed but I just couldn't do it, I just faked it as best as I could.
Carrie