the thoughts are hard to stop

i have sh in the past and i have had periods ofyears without this behaviour but i recently stuck an auger 4cm into my foot and i have even worse thoughts...i know my thinking is not right but i function in the world and i havent told anyone and i am afraid of giving my thoughts an audience like with a counsellor cos then i might feel more mentally ill than i am...the obsessional thoughts are getting to me and i already feel ashamed

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you shouldn't feel ashamed. A lot of people go through this. If you want to talk, I'm here.

I've been struggling with SI for almost 10 years, more on than off unfortunately intrusive thoughts can be a real nuisance, especially when deep inside you know you aren't truly who your thoughts make you feel like. You have no need to feel ashamed by this, no judgment here Counselors/therapists can be very helpful, and they won't judge either because they just want to help.
Like Samantha said, more people go through this than you may think, so you don't need to feel ashamed keep posting, we're here for you

I hope you will seek out understanding folks like these other posters and also professional help. I did this many years ago, so long ago and just a few times, I can barely remember it! I wish you well, I hope you will find some help with the SI.

thankyou i apprecate your thought