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#1
Oct 24, 2006, 03:33 AM
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I'm so tired of fighting the urges. I'm tired of trying. Tired of standing. I just want to lie down. Give in. Just give in and everything will be okay for a night. I know for just one night. But all I want is that one night. But all I'll want tomorrow is one more and then one more and one will never be enough. I know slipping would be bad, I can't slip, I don't think I could get back up if I did, I can't I can't I can't. I feel so much shame if I do even just ice. I can't handle this. I'm tired of trying to keep my heart together. I'm tired of straining to keep my head above the water. I'm tired, so very tired.
I'm going to go use ice, maybe that will hold me till morning.
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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#2
Oct 24, 2006, 05:08 AM
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((((((((((( icky ))))))))))))
 I kind of know how you're feeling  Keep on trying to hold out, try to remember you'll feel better afterwards if you don't do anything... what helps me is asking myself, 'If I SI, how will it help me?' The answer is that it won't... at least, it won't help me sort out the problems causing me to want to SI
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That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed. - The Silver Chair |
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#3
Oct 24, 2006, 05:41 AM
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I'm so sorry... It is a struggle to keep going, but please try to hang in there. Take it one day at a time.... fight for today. You'll take care of tomorrow well, tomorrow. Etc.
I know it is hard. Wish you strength.... don't give in. (((((ickydog)))) |
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#4
Oct 24, 2006, 05:06 PM
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((((((((((((( icky ))))))))))))))
 Fuzzy
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#5
Oct 24, 2006, 05:09 PM
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What words could ever be said to bring you the comfort you need? I so wish I had them. Please know that so many of us understand your pain and that you are not alone.
 PS - check out the response that wpowers gave to Lindsey. It's quite profound. I think it is in the Anxiety forum. If not, I'll PM you as to where it is. It may help a bit... With ya, Altered State
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"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be." Hamlet, Act 4, sc v Wm. Shakespeare |
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#6
Oct 30, 2006, 05:10 PM
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Hello I hope things are better for you at this time. ai am going to give you a number for a hotline for sutters. 1-800-DONT-CUt this will give you the number for somone to call in case you are in a crisis, and need a live person to talk to about your problems. you may also call 1-800-273-TALK. I am going to also leave my email address in case you would like to email, if you need someone to talk to neohiodbsa@yahoo.com. all information is strictly confidential, that is left by email. Take care Soidhonia
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The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill of Things Unknown and Longed for Still and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom |
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#7
Oct 30, 2006, 11:15 PM
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Thanks guys. I'm doing a bit better now. Got through the roughest of it and had a good day Saturday (relaxed and not completely stressed out). Now if only things would stay okay.
I'm so glad I made it through this. I have a recovery group starting Wednesday that I am leading... sometimes I feel so unprepared and inadequate to lead it, and other times I feel like I've definitely got the experience. I know this will be good for me and all the girls in the group though. Thank you so much for your help and encouragment everyone. ((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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#8
Oct 31, 2006, 04:46 PM
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Hello I hope things go well with your group, you may have many things to teach others at this time. Take care and good day Soidhonia
__________________
The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill of Things Unknown and Longed for Still and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom |
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