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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: The Third Dimension
Posts: 527
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Oct 13, 2013 at 09:16 PM
#21
Keep intentionally triggering myself for some reason.
__________________ I hope you have a really great day. 
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 Grey Matter
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: hippocampus
Posts: 2,379
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Oct 14, 2013 at 12:02 AM
#22
eh..... just eh.
__________________ “You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”. |
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| Blue_Bird
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2011
Location: Australia
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Oct 14, 2013 at 12:22 AM
#23
Sending
 's and my thoughts to everyone needing them at the moment. It seems like a rough time for a lot of people.Hang in there I promise that the urges will pass again and it will get easier.
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| Grey Matter
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
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Oct 14, 2013 at 01:25 AM
#24
I got through this episode without SI'ing
 but I got a tattoo that doesn't count right?
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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| Grey Matter
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Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Oct 14, 2013 at 02:35 AM
#25
Quote:
 And nah I don't think so
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Oct 14, 2013 at 04:41 AM
#26
Quote:
oh my god.... i do a lot of that some days! especially on those days where i feel nothing at all... it's just nice to feel something- even if it's painful been doing a lot this morning- especially on my kneck (i have stuff their i've been working on for years) |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,537
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Oct 14, 2013 at 04:48 AM
#27
Really struggling tonight and not even sure why to be honest
 It has been almost 6 months now that I've managed to resist but it's back and I really don't want to hold out any longer. I know I'm normally the positive one but I'm sick of being positive- what difference does it make? Who would know or care if I gave in now? 
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Oct 14, 2013 at 04:52 AM
#28
Quote:
hope you manage to hold on |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Oct 14, 2013 at 11:07 AM
#29
Quote:
I understand the urges that come out of nowhere after stopping for a long time.
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: hippocampus
Posts: 2,379
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Oct 14, 2013 at 11:17 AM
#30
I've managed not to do anything since I OD'ed, but it's always just a thought in the back of my head. Which is endlessly frustrating.
__________________ “You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”. |
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| Blue_Bird
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Oct 15, 2013 at 02:59 AM
#31
i've all ready started...
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Oct 15, 2013 at 03:20 AM
#32
Urges today are strong from a lot of stress
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| tealBumblebee
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Oct 15, 2013 at 10:19 AM
#33
Not many urges lately. I'm very happy about it. T was very excited to hear about how i've been addressing the sui thoughts (a constant for me) and I really do feel like i've been making a lot of progress!
On another note, my mother saw one of my scars today and I had to come up with some dumb excuse to explain it (she only saw a glimpse, my excuse wouldn't have worked if she saw the whole thing). It was awkward, but it also, for me, was added encouragement to find healthier (or at least less visible) ways to handle my emotions. __________________ A majorly depressed, anxious and dependent, schizotypal hypomanic beautiful mess ...[just a rebel to the world with no place to go...  ]
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Oct 15, 2013 at 02:47 PM
#34
 my therapist "ordered" me to refrain from SI for 1/2 day on two occasions this week. Kinda freaked me out, having this limitation - without any real way of coping. Throughly enjoyed a session of SI once I got past 1pm today. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Oct 15, 2013 at 04:14 PM
#35
I haven't cut but I'm starving myself
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Grey Matter, tealBumblebee
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Member Since Oct 2013
Location: Nebraska
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Oct 16, 2013 at 02:09 AM
#36
I felt numb and self loathing and stressed and just couldn't deal with anything. So I relapsed after about a week.
whoops. __________________ i wrote the gospel on giving up |
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Oct 16, 2013 at 04:41 AM
#37
lots of urges today.
been doing lots. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Oct 16, 2013 at 06:12 PM
#38
No urges today, just a little sad
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Grey Matter, tealBumblebee
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: hippocampus
Posts: 2,379
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Oct 16, 2013 at 06:48 PM
#39
Urges today like crazy. I am having sui intrusive thinking and it's horrible. The biggest enemy in me recovering is me, and I am apparently stubborn as fu**.
__________________ “You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”. |
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| tealBumblebee
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 313
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Oct 16, 2013 at 07:22 PM
#40
Yesterday was really hard for me. The urges were so intense, I thought I would give in but I cried a lot and talked to a crisis counselor which stopped me from SI. I'm glad I didn't give in but it's getting really hard
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