SI Daily Check In

oh my god.... i do a lot of that some days!

especially on those days where i feel nothing at all... it's just nice to feel something- even if it's painful

been doing a lot this morning- especially on my kneck (i have stuff their i've been working on for years)

Really struggling tonight and not even sure why to be honest It has been almost 6 months now that I've managed to resist but it's back and I really don't want to hold out any longer. I know I'm normally the positive one but I'm sick of being positive- what difference does it make? Who would know or care if I gave in now?

hope you manage to hold on

A lot of us would care, don't want you to hurt yourself I understand the urges that come out of nowhere after stopping for a long time.

I've managed not to do anything since I OD'ed, but it's always just a thought in the back of my head. Which is endlessly frustrating.

i've all ready started...

Urges today are strong from a lot of stress

Not many urges lately. I'm very happy about it. T was very excited to hear about how i've been addressing the sui thoughts (a constant for me) and I really do feel like i've been making a lot of progress!

On another note, my mother saw one of my scars today and I had to come up with some dumb excuse to explain it (she only saw a glimpse, my excuse wouldn't have worked if she saw the whole thing). It was awkward, but it also, for me, was added encouragement to find healthier (or at least less visible) ways to handle my emotions.

my therapist "ordered" me to refrain from SI for 1/2 day on two occasions this week. Kinda freaked me out, having this limitation - without any real way of coping.

Throughly enjoyed a session of SI once I got past 1pm today.

I haven't cut but I'm starving myself

I felt numb and self loathing and stressed and just couldn't deal with anything. So I relapsed after about a week.

whoops.

lots of urges today.

been doing lots.

No urges today, just a little sad

Urges today like crazy. I am having sui intrusive thinking and it's horrible. The biggest enemy in me recovering is me, and I am apparently stubborn as fu**.

Yesterday was really hard for me. The urges were so intense, I thought I would give in but I cried a lot and talked to a crisis counselor which stopped me from SI. I'm glad I didn't give in but it's getting really hard

Excessive urges today. Trying to stay strong but kind of failing.. hoping I'll be alright.

No urges today. Exercising has been helping me ope with the urges

didon't really have the thoughts this morning, but by about 1 pm i had triggered myself by accident with a show i liked- and i really went for it

I can't tell if i'm having urges or ideation. But I can literally feel the desire to do it in my chest and it's almost making me light headed. Hasn't been this prominent in my brain space in a while. I don't feel like I can't resist it, but i'm not really enjoying these physical reactions my body is having to not doing it. Can't win for losing I guess.

Anyways, keeping my mood up - so that's always good.

No urges today. Actually in a fairly decent mood today. I think the worst is over for now.

Had long day so sadly SI twice though no scar for now

Haven't been here in a long time. 23.5 weeks pregnant and had been doing well. Sick and in pain, depression is bad, and I want so badly to cut today. Thankfully, no action on it so far because I want to keep this baby safe!

I am nearly at a month, so when I get urges I just keep reminding myself I am almost there.

Urges are terrible. Trying to cope by helping others. I keep telling myself to stay distracted, and that its not worth it.

Much better day than yesterday. I emailed T about it last night and its almost like all of my urges went through the computer and off my chest/mind/out of my head. Woke up this morning in a rather cheerful mood. Spent the first half of the day entertaining the kids (shopping, nature walk, chalking the ground) and still no urges!