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#351
Jan 28, 2014, 05:51 PM
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Quote:
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 Anonymous200125, StarStrike
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#352
Jan 28, 2014, 06:16 PM
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I relapsed today. And my family have been going through a lot lately so I don't want to tell them and just stress them out more.. :/
__________________
i wrote the gospel on giving up |
| StarStrike
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#353
Jan 29, 2014, 04:56 PM
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I've had so many mental images of SI today... My brain must hate me because it's torture is holding back. But... I'm trying my very best. I'm giving 100% into quitting this. Though from past experiences, I know that my best will never be good enough.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
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#354
Feb 03, 2014, 10:26 AM
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The cuts are fading from last time which is making the urge to redo them stronger. I feel like I'm about to just fall into a bad depression and not care enough to get myself out.
__________________
"Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" |
| smmath, StarStrike
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#355
Feb 03, 2014, 10:55 PM
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I put together 16 months clean and then I self-harmed under the influence last night. Ha. Yay for that. At least I stopped myself before it turned into some psycho cutting session.
- AJ |
| notz, smmath, StarStrike
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#356
Feb 04, 2014, 03:16 PM
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The mental images of SI are getting stronger and stronger... I feel like I'm going to crack.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
| Emrys, smmath
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#357
Feb 05, 2014, 07:04 PM
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In a bad place again. So I've sent myself to bed in a bid to keep me safe. Urges are building but I have to ignore them.
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| StarStrike
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#358
Feb 05, 2014, 11:35 PM
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I really want to hurt myself. I am feeling more depressed than I have in a long time. I want to do something to self soothe. I have therapy tomorrow, which I hope will help.
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| Emrys, nycgal448, StarStrike
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#359
Feb 06, 2014, 03:04 AM
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I cut myself this morning just before getting in the shower to make the sensation last longer. But the tiny blade didn't feel like it was enough this time. I'm scared of myself because I know that one day I might reach for a sharper object that can do more damage.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
| GirlOfManyFaces
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#360
Feb 13, 2014, 01:20 PM
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My urges seem to have disappeared this last week
 I'm feeling better...just on an up I guess. It's a good thing because right now I have no idea where my razors are, everything is all over the place while we redecorate!Yay to feeling good 
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| Anonymous100108, StarStrike
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#361
Feb 13, 2014, 03:40 PM
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Very, very close... I stopped 7 years ago and then 2 months ago I did something due to post-session frustration... Since that time I feel the urge almost everyday... And today I was very, very close... Okay, actually I've already started but stopped just after few seconds so nothing is visible more than like from a mosquito bite
 bad that I started - good that I stopped...
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| notz, StarStrike
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#362
Feb 13, 2014, 07:46 PM
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Been doing very well!
Ever since I moved my 'tools' out of reach (they're not completely gone but they are removed from my wallet, glove compartment, car door, beside my pillow, soap dish - you get the point) - I haven't si'd at all! I'm pretty sure today marks two weeks
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| beloiseau, notz, StarStrike
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#363
Feb 13, 2014, 07:53 PM
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I SCRATCHED HARD AND BLED.. ALOT TODAY. EXTREMELY BAD DAY.
iT WUZ A "TYPICAL" BORDERLINE DAY. i DECIDED I AM NOT GOIN TO CUT MY CLAWS EITHER; NEED THEM.
__________________
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| StarStrike, tealBumblebee
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#364
Feb 13, 2014, 09:41 PM
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It's like the longer I go without SI, the more the urges build up and I want to.
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
| smmath, StarStrike, tealBumblebee
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#365
Feb 16, 2014, 01:21 AM
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I just did something that might push me over the edge and SI. I hope I don't. I am really stupid and I deserve to be hurt because of what I did.
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| beloiseau, StarStrike
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#366
Feb 16, 2014, 02:17 AM
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I can't remember when I cut last. I think it was this week though. But I can feel that I'm going to do it soon. It's like that feeling when you know somethin very bad is about to happen...
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| beloiseau, StarStrike
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#367
Feb 16, 2014, 07:42 AM
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been doing lots on my arms again today.
mixture of overwelming anxiety, and total self loathing |
| StarStrike
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#368
Feb 16, 2014, 10:48 AM
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Well last night I cut my leg about 15 times. I haven't cut in probably 8 years. Off the wagon again lol
Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 2 |
| beloiseau, StarStrike
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#369
Feb 16, 2014, 01:52 PM
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It's been 3 days and counting
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#370
Feb 17, 2014, 02:44 PM
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Yesterday I cut after going without for five days. Today I haven't cut. But I'm at a point where I no longer care if I give in to the urges.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
| aern01
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#371
Feb 17, 2014, 03:10 PM
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back to the legs today.
not much... but a little |
| aern01, StarStrike
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#372
Feb 18, 2014, 02:05 AM
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I kind of want to SI. I feel like I need to. It makes me feel better. I am feeling really lonely and self harming will give me something to do.
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| aern01, notz, StarStrike
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#373
Feb 18, 2014, 02:29 AM
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smmath--I'm sorry U want to DSH,but I understand. Hope U find some other outlet for your pain & release. I am anxious right now & would like to cut in order to make myself feel better. I am trying to "sit w/ my pain,anxiety,fear,& worrisome feelings". This is 1 of the Distress Tolerance Techniques I am working on in therapy.
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| smmath, StarStrike
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 smmath
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#374
Feb 22, 2014, 06:04 AM
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I SI'd in the shower this morning.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
| smmath
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#375
Feb 22, 2014, 03:01 PM
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Well... Relapsed last night. Thought it was controlled but my memory is fuzzy which is a sign i dissociated. Can only remember being extremely agitated. Darn it! Well done to all those who are doing well! Xx
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk. Boom.
__________________
~ HEY! I run a site on mental health called The Manic Years. I'm looking for some brave souls to share their own personal encounters with mental health. Are you up for sharing your story? Please get in touch on themanicyears@gmail.com. Thank you  ~Follow my blog here; http://themanicyears.com Lola Olivia ~ 7/11/11 ~ my reason for breathing Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2 - (2013) 'Borderline traits' Dissociative episodes |
| smmath, StarStrike
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