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  #351  
Old Jan 28, 2014, 05:51 PM
Anonymous100305
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Quote:
Originally Posted by secretwhisper View Post
There is a hotline I've contacted before, if I feel really unsafe I'll call them again. I promise. i want to die, but I don't. I know that I can't, not really. So I will do what I can to stay safe.
I know exactly what you're saying secretwhisper... I live it every day too. Please be well...
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  #352  
Old Jan 28, 2014, 06:16 PM
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imnotokayipromise imnotokayipromise is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 78
I relapsed today. And my family have been going through a lot lately so I don't want to tell them and just stress them out more.. :/
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i wrote the gospel on giving up
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  #353  
Old Jan 29, 2014, 04:56 PM
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StarStrike StarStrike is offline
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I've had so many mental images of SI today... My brain must hate me because it's torture is holding back. But... I'm trying my very best. I'm giving 100% into quitting this. Though from past experiences, I know that my best will never be good enough.
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"Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.
Medication:
Olanzapine 20mg
Fluoxetine 20mg
  #354  
Old Feb 03, 2014, 10:26 AM
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Bubbles&Buttercup Bubbles&Buttercup is offline
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Location: Albury, Australia
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The cuts are fading from last time which is making the urge to redo them stronger. I feel like I'm about to just fall into a bad depression and not care enough to get myself out.
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"Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train"
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  #355  
Old Feb 03, 2014, 10:55 PM
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grey_aj grey_aj is offline
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Location: citizen of the world
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I put together 16 months clean and then I self-harmed under the influence last night. Ha. Yay for that. At least I stopped myself before it turned into some psycho cutting session.

- AJ
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  #356  
Old Feb 04, 2014, 03:16 PM
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StarStrike StarStrike is offline
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The mental images of SI are getting stronger and stronger... I feel like I'm going to crack.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.
Medication:
Olanzapine 20mg
Fluoxetine 20mg
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  #357  
Old Feb 05, 2014, 07:04 PM
Anonymous200125
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In a bad place again. So I've sent myself to bed in a bid to keep me safe. Urges are building but I have to ignore them.
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  #358  
Old Feb 05, 2014, 11:35 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle, WA USA
Posts: 970
I really want to hurt myself. I am feeling more depressed than I have in a long time. I want to do something to self soothe. I have therapy tomorrow, which I hope will help.
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  #359  
Old Feb 06, 2014, 03:04 AM
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I cut myself this morning just before getting in the shower to make the sensation last longer. But the tiny blade didn't feel like it was enough this time. I'm scared of myself because I know that one day I might reach for a sharper object that can do more damage.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.
Medication:
Olanzapine 20mg
Fluoxetine 20mg
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  #360  
Old Feb 13, 2014, 01:20 PM
Anonymous200125
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My urges seem to have disappeared this last week I'm feeling better...just on an up I guess. It's a good thing because right now I have no idea where my razors are, everything is all over the place while we redecorate!

Yay to feeling good
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  #361  
Old Feb 13, 2014, 03:40 PM
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someone321 someone321 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,142
Very, very close... I stopped 7 years ago and then 2 months ago I did something due to post-session frustration... Since that time I feel the urge almost everyday... And today I was very, very close... Okay, actually I've already started but stopped just after few seconds so nothing is visible more than like from a mosquito bite bad that I started - good that I stopped...
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  #362  
Old Feb 13, 2014, 07:46 PM
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tealBumblebee tealBumblebee is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,100
Been doing very well!

Ever since I moved my 'tools' out of reach (they're not completely gone but they are removed from my wallet, glove compartment, car door, beside my pillow, soap dish - you get the point) - I haven't si'd at all! I'm pretty sure today marks two weeks
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  #363  
Old Feb 13, 2014, 07:53 PM
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I SCRATCHED HARD AND BLED.. ALOT TODAY. EXTREMELY BAD DAY.
iT WUZ A "TYPICAL" BORDERLINE DAY. i DECIDED I AM NOT GOIN TO
CUT MY CLAWS EITHER; NEED THEM.
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  #364  
Old Feb 13, 2014, 09:41 PM
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beloiseau beloiseau is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2013
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 550
It's like the longer I go without SI, the more the urges build up and I want to.
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I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.

Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg

depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury.


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  #365  
Old Feb 16, 2014, 01:21 AM
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Location: Seattle, WA USA
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I just did something that might push me over the edge and SI. I hope I don't. I am really stupid and I deserve to be hurt because of what I did.
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  #366  
Old Feb 16, 2014, 02:17 AM
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GirlOfManyFaces GirlOfManyFaces is offline
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Location: The United States of America
Posts: 551
I can't remember when I cut last. I think it was this week though. But I can feel that I'm going to do it soon. It's like that feeling when you know somethin very bad is about to happen...
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  #367  
Old Feb 16, 2014, 07:42 AM
Anonymous32451
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been doing lots on my arms again today.

mixture of overwelming anxiety, and total self loathing
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  #368  
Old Feb 16, 2014, 10:48 AM
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Smellyfinger Smellyfinger is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: SoCal
Posts: 105
Well last night I cut my leg about 15 times. I haven't cut in probably 8 years. Off the wagon again lol

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 2
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  #369  
Old Feb 16, 2014, 01:52 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,519
It's been 3 days and counting
  #370  
Old Feb 17, 2014, 02:44 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: United Kingdom
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Yesterday I cut after going without for five days. Today I haven't cut. But I'm at a point where I no longer care if I give in to the urges.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.
Medication:
Olanzapine 20mg
Fluoxetine 20mg
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  #371  
Old Feb 17, 2014, 03:10 PM
Anonymous32451
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back to the legs today.

not much... but a little
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  #372  
Old Feb 18, 2014, 02:05 AM
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smmath smmath is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle, WA USA
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I kind of want to SI. I feel like I need to. It makes me feel better. I am feeling really lonely and self harming will give me something to do.
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  #373  
Old Feb 18, 2014, 02:29 AM
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aern01 aern01 is offline
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Location: Jacksonville,FL
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smmath--I'm sorry U want to DSH,but I understand. Hope U find some other outlet for your pain & release. I am anxious right now & would like to cut in order to make myself feel better. I am trying to "sit w/ my pain,anxiety,fear,& worrisome feelings". This is 1 of the Distress Tolerance Techniques I am working on in therapy.
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Thanks for this!
smmath
  #374  
Old Feb 22, 2014, 06:04 AM
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StarStrike StarStrike is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 2,211
I SI'd in the shower this morning.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.
Medication:
Olanzapine 20mg
Fluoxetine 20mg
Hugs from:
smmath
  #375  
Old Feb 22, 2014, 03:01 PM
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x_BabyG_x x_BabyG_x is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2008
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,296
Well... Relapsed last night. Thought it was controlled but my memory is fuzzy which is a sign i dissociated. Can only remember being extremely agitated. Darn it! Well done to all those who are doing well! Xx

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk. Boom.
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~ HEY! I run a site on mental health called The Manic Years. I'm looking for some brave souls to share their own personal encounters with mental health. Are you up for sharing your story? Please get in touch on themanicyears@gmail.com. Thank you ~

Follow my blog here; http://themanicyears.com

Lola Olivia ~ 7/11/11 ~ my reason for breathing

Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2 - (2013)
'Borderline traits'
Dissociative episodes
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