[breakmystride]

For the last few months, I've felt kind of guilty because even though I cut multiple times a day, I haven't gotten any permanent scars because I guess I just don't cut deep enough.

Well, for the last week or so I haven't been cutting on my legs, just on my wrist and belly. I'm not sure why, I just haven't felt like cutting in that place. So all the cuts have healed and now I can see that I've got much more obvious scars than I realized. I'm not sure if they're permanent or not, since it's only been a week, but even if they're not, it's going to take a long time for them to fade.

I'm really not sure how to feel about this, because on the one hand, I'm kind of proud and satisfied with myself for being able to do that much damage, but on the other hand, it's kind of scary knowing that now, even if I ever stopped cutting, I'll always have the reminder on my body, and I'll probably never be able to wear a swimsuit or miniskirt again.

Hey,

Um...there's a good number of gals with C-section scars wearing swimsuits while out in public places. They are out there sun-bathing with a print on the belly and don't care a hoot about who is watching As a matter of fact, childbirth is sweet but the stretch marks draw pictures, haha! So, you are really not alone as far as the belly marks. Although, I would love to know that you are not harming yourself. Natural treatment is a good way to handle scars, if you must harm, please consider using a good natural lotion, cream, oil or body butter. Best to you!

Tabby

[wiltedxdaisy]

It is hard coming to terms with the fact that you really are harming your body, especially when it becomes visible. I used to NEVER wear shorts or swim suits or anything like that, I was so ashamed of my scars, but finally I got to a point where I was just sick of hiding. We all make mistakes and do things we aren't proud of it. We should not be ashamed. Mental illness is REAL. It happens. While I do not encourage SI, I do not think that you should have to hide. I have scars all over my legs (I am in recovery now) and I started wearing shorts a couple of summers ago and not one person has said anything to me about them. People have scars. Inside AND out. If someone wants to judge me based on that, then they are not the type of people I, personally would want in my life.

So anyway.. just thought I'd share my experience. I hope you will find it helpful. I really do wish the best to you, that you can stop harming yourself and find healthy coping skills, which I know is not easy, but it IS possible. I have not SI'd since June of this year.

Take care,
Angel

I get asked about my scars. Its annoying and uncomfortable. I wore long jumpers and pants everywhere for years, eventually I got sick of it. I cant tan as my scars stand out white as white against darker skin, I get a lot of sun so my arms are very visible. You might not regret them now but chances are you will one day. They are a constant reminder of dark times, and triggering start it up again. Have a think about this - regardless what people say, someone is going to see them, and what are you going to do then? Whats your excuse going to be? What is your future partner going to think?

First and foremost - be safe. Do not cut too deep and always be "sterile".

As for the marks - I hope you find peace with them. I view my marks as part of who I am and I am NOT ashamed of them. I am dealing with my issues in the best way I can. And if people want to judge - then they are morons because the alternative is that I would be dead.

Add on this fact..... As a cutter, if you saw marks on a stranger - would you judge? Or would you feel some form of comraderie? I fell and instant connection with that person. I know they already understand some of my pain and I understand theirs. In fact, I find marks totally sexy (but I am nuts).

[breakmystride]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

Add on this fact..... As a cutter, if you saw marks on a stranger - would you judge? Or would you feel some form of comraderie? I fell and instant connection with that person. I know they already understand some of my pain and I understand theirs. In fact, I find marks totally sexy (but I am nuts).

I've actually only seen one person with visible self-harm scars. And like you said, I kind of felt a connection, but no one knows that I cut, and I'm trying to keep it that way.

So I personally wouldn't judge now, but I think most people would. I probably would have back before I started cutting.

[wisedude]

I have horrendous, highly visible scars all over my arms and legs!

I am also very fat and ugly!

Meh, such is life.

I don't worry too much about it.