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Old Nov 16, 2013, 01:13 PM
Angel of Bedlam's Avatar
Angel of Bedlam Angel of Bedlam is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: Lincoln, NE
Posts: 962
My boyfriend left me. He just got in his car and left. I will harm, I have to. I deserve it. Right now all I can think about is how to get a blade (since I threw mine out), and get away and do it. I have to be punished. I ruined everything.

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Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?


Diagnosed:
BPD

PTSD

Last edited by notz; Nov 17, 2013 at 08:39 AM. Reason: added trigger icon
Hugs from:
falsememory7, MusicLover79

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  #2  
Old Nov 16, 2013, 01:59 PM
MusicLover79 MusicLover79 is offline
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Member Since: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 313
Please don't hurt yourself
Thanks for this!
falsememory7
  #3  
Old Nov 16, 2013, 05:05 PM
mazing's Avatar
mazing mazing is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,537
I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. Please try to take care of yourself.

I know it hurts but it will ease again. It will get easier to manage in time. You don't deserve to be hurt.

Can you try holding out, even for just a small time? 30 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 1 minute? Whatever you can manage.
Thanks for this!
falsememory7
  #4  
Old Nov 16, 2013, 10:05 PM
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falsememory7 falsememory7 is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: False Memories
Posts: 423
Angel, I'm so sorry that you're experiencing this pain - I wish you didn't, and that I could just take it all away, and only leave joy and love and peace... but until then, try and hold on okay? I really hope you don't SI, but I know how it gets sometimes... Just hold off for as long as you can, and maybe distract yourself with things you love, like eating chocolate or watching a really good movie or going for a long walk outside to clear your mind. Things get really hard sometimes, really incredibly difficult, and it's nearly impossible to imagine them getting better - but they always do. So hold on tight, Angel, and a better day will come soon, I know it will. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk, or just chat about random things, or need a friend. I'm always here, every day
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