[Chippie]

I'm tired of being this horrible person, somehow everything good always crumbles apart and I'm left to blame. I have given up fighting it, it's not worth it everyone who I have cared for either starts spreading rumorsabout me or telling me they hope I die, sometimes I wish I could fulfill their wishes but I can't even though they make me hurt so bad I can't do that to them. At least with cutting they will never see and I won't be harrassed because of me telling them what they say hurts, it doesn't matter anyway, my feelings are meaningless, I don't even know if I have them everythings just blah I don't know what to do. I want to cut to let the pain and overwhelming sadness poor out, I know it's temporary but that's all that keeps entering my mind. I hate this, I just don't understand, everyone around me has been able to grow up, to speak their mind without punishment, to be their own person but I can't, everything I do is wrong, if I ask for help I'm just told to deal with it. Well I hate the way I deal with it I just keep falling back into my little hole where i cut till I get tired and fall asleep. I don't want to go there but maybe i will. Sorry for my ramblings.

[Rapunzel]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Chippie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You seem like a good person to me. I've chatted with you a couple of times and seen your posts here, and there's nothing horrible about you as far as I can see. You are very talented and intelligent, in fact. However, it's what you think about yourself that counts. Your feelings count too. As you learn more about yourself you will be able to find ways to deal with your feelings and other things that will work better for you. Coming here and talking about it is a good one.

Take Care!
-Wendy

<font color=orange>"Everyone has a need for significance; and if we can't make that possible, or even probable, in our society, then it will be obtained in destructive ways." -Rollo May</font color=orange>

[Zenobia]

There is something in your post that disturbs me. You have said it before but my mind glossed over it because it was so disturbing. Do people really tell you that they hope you will die? I ask the question not because I doubt what you say but find it hard to comprehend that people could be so cruel? I feel so...I am not sure how to express this emotion, it just hurts in my chest when I think how alone you must feel. I am not sure what to say, so I will look at the positive in your post. You said you don't want to go there, to your little hole where you cut. This is a good thing, just by saying it you have voiced that there is a possibility of not going there. You have given yourself a choice.
Holding you in my thoughts,
Carrie

[Chippie]

Yeah I have had many people say they hope I die, for the most part I try and tune them out, and telling them how much it hurts does no good. I'm hanging on by my fingertips to keep from cutting I've slipped too far things keep piling up their not getting any better.