I don't want to live.

lightinthesky · 12:25 AM

here it is, the stage where I go tired, it has been few days since I started thinking of killing myself, I am too weak to live this life, maybe I was born wrong, i want to have a good life or not have one at all and I can't have a good life, life is a chore for me.

Rzay4 · Jan 12, 2014, 02:36 PM

Please do not do it. You are valuable to someone and everyone. Please I and many others would be very sad.

lightinthesky · Jan 12, 2014, 02:53 PM

It is not about others tho, is it? do you live for others? I am tired, I don't want this anymore

smmath · Jan 12, 2014, 03:44 PM

What has triggered these thoughts? Has something recently occurred that has you thinking about resorting to suicide? Do you have anyone to talk to about these thoughts? A therapist or friend? Can you do something to bring meaning back to your life?

I think that we live for others until we can choose to and want to live for ourselves. All life is important, so do whatever it takes to stay alive. Keep talking, we are here for you.

lightinthesky · Jan 12, 2014, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smmath

What has triggered these thoughts? Has something recently occurred that has you thinking about resorting to suicide? Do you have anyone to talk to about these thoughts? A therapist or friend? Can you do something to bring meaning back to your life?

I think that we live for others until we can choose to and want to live for ourselves. All life is important, so do whatever it takes to stay alive. Keep talking, we are here for you.

Yes something happened, I lost someone I love, I have a therapist, I was working hard to get better but I don't, I am tired, very tired.

smmath · Jan 12, 2014, 04:45 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss. I know that that doesn't change anything, but know that I truly am sorry. It's good that you have a therapist. It makes sense that you are tired after all that you've been through, but you will get better. I know that me saying that doesn't change how you feel, so the point is mute. However, I know that you can make it through this. I think it is important to wait out the feelings a while longer, before you do something that you might regret. Keep talking to your therapist. I wish you the best.

mazing · Jan 12, 2014, 10:40 PM

I agree with smmath, I can't imagine what you must be going through right now but in time it will get easier again. It is never easy to lose someone, especially with so many other things happening and sometimes it can feel like all there is to do is give up - but I promise you that feeling can pass. What you are considering is a permanent solution to something that is most likely temporary.

Talking to your T is a great start and lean on the forums for a while if you need to. We are here to support you as much as we can.

lightinthesky · Jan 13, 2014, 01:29 AM

It won't be temporary and I will never get strong enough, I'm seeing my therapist for months and I don't feel any better, I so had enough of this

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Jan 13, 2014, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lightinthesky

It won't be temporary and I will never get strong enough, I'm seeing my therapist for months and I don't feel any better, I so had enough of this

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Therapy doesn't necessarily make you feel better in the short term, in fact it probably does the opposite, because you are talking about things that have affected you and it stirs up a lot of emotions.

In the long term though you do get permanent and positive results. That's why it's worth the effort to do something which is so slow at times.

lightinthesky · Jan 13, 2014, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Therapy doesn't necessarily make you feel better in the short term, in fact it probably does the opposite, because you are talking about things that have affected you and it stirs up a lot of emotions.

In the long term though you do get permanent and positive results. That's why it's worth the effort to do something which is so slow at times.

But I'm tired of fighting and waiting, life doesn't get better with time just because you sit and wait we change it don't we? And I have no power to live and fight anymore, I am not that kind of a person , what do I do, I'm scared of what I'm thinking about

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