[reesecups]

Okay. Don't know about this. But I SI'd a few weeks ago. My Case Manager told me she thought I was playing some kind of game because I had SI'd in hash marks instead of one way altogether on my abdomen. Has anyone heard this before? Does anyone know if she is right? Didn't make sense to me? I din't know there was a 'proper' way of SI'ing? Lol!

[smmath]

I don't know if she is right, but I don't think there is a right way to SI. I don't think anyone who is cutting is playing any "game". I would ignore that comment and move on to trying to heal, versus getting caught up in whether you are doing it "right"

[reesecups]

There is a place online where you can actually ask shrinks and other specialists questions. The first time someone saw my cuts was a psych nurse and she just said 'Hmm, hashmarks'. Made me curious what she meant. So now, I've asked two shrinks on this one place what the differences were and what they meant. They said the knew of no significance. SI was SI. So it kind of baffled me that when she claimed , without seeing the marks herself, that they looked like a tic-tac-toe. She said she didn't know of the significance, but she felt I was playing games. She is my case manager but she is only a licensed MFT Intern. And she is also the one that threatened me with the hospital if she thought I was going to cut. Thank God I have a rational T on the outside who knows better.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me angry that I feel I have no choice but to go to this program!

Most of the time - I do do "tally marks". They are not deep (just deep enough to bleed - or they do not *count*). About 1-4 inches long. In one sitting (cutting session) - I have done over five thousand at a time.... it really isn't that many if you are not cutting deep.

as for your shrink - tell him/her to **** off - the remark s/he made was about as stupid of a a comment that I have ever heard.

[reesecups]

Thank you all for your comments. I totally agree with you. Just another reason I'm getting to the point I can't deal with her. I mean why would I be playing games which would seem like attention seeking when they only found out over two weeks after I did it? Idiot!

[reesecups]

Thought I would update. Saw my Case Manager, who at one point threatened to hospitalize me for occassional SI. She came out and admitted that she was wrong. She had been trying to manipulate me into not doing it. But that unless it was happening often and if I was getting infections and doing serious damage, she would not do it! She asked that we both be honest eith each other from now on. Maybe? This has ended up okay? We'll see.