unexplainable

I broke down today. Lately I've been dealing with things ok and haven't felt the need to cut. I don't know why I did it. Out of nowhere, I just started crying. Not tears-streaming crying, but complete bawling crying. Ironically enough, the moment I did cut I stopped crying. I don't know what happened, and I can't explain why. I'm so terrified of it happening again. What if next time its worse?

Thanks for listening

It's ok. Just because you messed up today, doesn't mean you will in the future. Don't get mad at yourself, but instead try to look to the other side. Because yes, there is another side.

One time a few years ago I had a horrible day. I was trying my hardest to fight the urge and so I thought that being alone in the bathroom might help. Well, I went into the school bathroom and found...a random open safety pin! I shook for about two minutes and contemplated what to do when finally I made the extremely hard decision to flush it.
Next time, try flushing it. It won't completely get rid of the urge, but you will feel SO proud of yourself afterwards!
Good luck, dear! I know what it's like, the withdrawals and everything, but you are strong enough to do this!

Forgive yourself for the slip up and don't be too hard on yourself! Hope you feel better soon xx

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi ontheotherside, it's OK. It really is, it might not feel that way, but it is!!
You slipped but it sounds like you had so much building up inside you that it just all came out.
Now you just have to focus on moving on from that. And maybe back to how you've been dealing with things. I really do commend you on dealing with things but maybe some slight adjustments??? Or start to recognize a little better when things are building up (??) and step in a little sooner with things that might help you with that pressure???
But really it's OK!! There are going to be other, better days, just get right on behind that, and try to do the best you can do for yourself.
Alison