[tealBumblebee]

Self injury doesn't always work for me - so I'm on the fence about believing that when you cut the body releases endorphins, etc. Times like tonight when i'm extremely anxious (for seemingly no reason - just came out of no where) - self injury makes me feel better. Started with cutting, but the areas I cut though not that fresh are still too sore to tackle.

What did do the trick for me was/is finger pricking. I felt a flood of release as the pain hit my finger in an uncontrollable quick puncture. Sometimes it takes a few pricks to get that "glory moment" - but finger pricking does the job.

Not only do I not necessarily believe entirely the thing about endorphins (I do think that some people feel that rush but not me) but everything online says "Cutters don't cut because they are suicidal or want attention; they want help".

Well, I realized that I don't cut because i'm suicidal, want attention, or want help. I self injure because it feels good.

[Victoria'smom]

. I self injure because it feels good.

This is what my T said last time I was there.

Yup, for me it's definitely not for attention or help, it's about the emotional sort of release and grounding I get. The only times I cut are when I feel like I'm going crazy. I get kind of tunnel visioned and sort of loose my mind and the only way I can focus and bring myself back into my body is through a box cutter.

Partly for control. Partly for keeping me grounded. And partly because I feel so much more relaxed afterwards. But most definitely not a cry for help--if I wanted help I would have checked myself in somewhere or cut in a place that was more obvious.

I havent cut properly for years, but the urge has come back now since the PMDD has started. For control. I feel completely out of control. I have no control over the next hormone change and when I will next go nuts be obsessive over it. I know Im going to do it. I've told people I am going to do it in the hopes they will stop me. But no one seems to care. I just hope I can control myself to the point that I dont need medical attention when the time comes around again, or I will be in real deep ****.
I crave the feeling I get, the calm from a nice deep cut.

[Idiot17]

As keeprolling said it's not a cry for help. Don't most of us keep it hidden? the cutting puts things into place, it gives you a measure of control. It reassures the capability of feeling, of relaxation, of adrenaline. It's calming, it's not a method to ask for help. I've never met a non-cutter that understood the full meaning of cutting.