[sprinterchic13]

It seems whenever i get overly stressed my thoughts of self-harm come back to haunt me. it has been a continuous struggle not to cut myself, not to lock my door and take out my blade ad cut. it has been a battle, but somehow i haven't cut myself. This is good right? But the stress is eating away at me, effecting my sleep and eating. I barely eat now and most nights i can't sleep. sometimes i find myself hitting my head against my desk or the wall. The thoughts are consuming me again and i don't know how to beat them back effectively yet. Being a college student juggling academics, social life, not wanting to choke out my roommate (whom i can't stand), sports and band is tough and challenging. and i am only a freshman. The next few years are going to be a long haul if I can't beat my thoughts of self-harm for good

[Sam2]

SI is an addiction, just like alcoholism or drug addiction. Even after you stop, there will be time of high stress that cause you to crave the temporary relief you had when you used to cut. I'm two years out and still have thoughts when things get really bad.

If you give in and cut, you will find excuses to cut again and again. "just one more time then I'll stop". Remember, its not a cure for your stress, depression or anxiety. Its temporary relief at best, leaving permanent scars. It also doesn't do much for your self esteem if you give in.

Cutting is obvously not a normal thing, but the return of that urge to do so after you have used it in the past for relief is. Try to remember the down side of how you felt when you cut instead of focusing on any "up" you may have felt. The longer you can go without giving in, the better your chances are.

Talk to a counsellor at school about it. If you don't want to tell the counsellor that you were a cutter, tell them you are having problems with stress that are effecting your thinking and classes. I would bet there are other cutters on campus. You have probably seen their scars. Its not the OMG that it used to be, so don't be ashamed to tell a counsellor, although i would make sure your talks will be kept between you and the counsellor.

Sam2

[sprinterchic13]

Originally Posted by Sam2

SI is an addiction, just like alcoholism or drug addiction. Even after you stop, there will be time of high stress that cause you to crave the temporary relief you had when you used to cut. I'm two years out and still have thoughts when things get really bad.

If you give in and cut, you will find excuses to cut again and again. "just one more time then I'll stop". Remember, its not a cure for your stress, depression or anxiety. Its temporary relief at best, leaving permanent scars. It also doesn't do much for your self esteem if you give in.

Cutting is obvously not a normal thing, but the return of that urge to do so after you have used it in the past for relief is. Try to remember the down side of how you felt when you cut instead of focusing on any "up" you may have felt. The longer you can go without giving in, the better your chances are.

Talk to a counsellor at school about it. If you don't want to tell the counsellor that you were a cutter, tell them you are having problems with stress that are effecting your thinking and classes. I would bet there are other cutters on campus. You have probably seen their scars. Its not the OMG that it used to be, so don't be ashamed to tell a counsellor, although i would make sure your talks will be kept between you and the counsellor.

Sam2

Thanks for the support.

[jacq10]

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much right now. Does your school have a counselling services that you could go to and speak to someone about how you're feeling?

If it makes you feel any better, freshman was my worst year of college for similar reasons (minus the roommate - but I had that problem later!). It's hard living in residence and having people constantly around. People that you constantly have to be social with and put on a face to cover up how you are really feeling. I found that after I moved off campus, life became a bit more normal in that I gained my space back. In the meantime, are there any places on campus that you could go just to be alone? I know for me, I would go and sit in the rows of the psychology section in the library, or there was a quiet place in one of the buildings on campus that I would go to to do work.

Also, I know how hard the eating/sleeping thing can be. Melatonin at night might help with the sleeping part? And if you can get a good night rest in, it might help to put you back on more of a regular eating pattern too? Consistency is the best for both of those things.... however the University lifestyle doesn't always allow for that to happen.

Just try and focus on the things that ARE within your control. Focus on how you choose to spend your time, and on the resources that ARE within your grasp that you can utilize. I totally understand how wanting to self harm feels outside of your control, but the behaviour of acting on those thoughts is.

Gentle hugs,
Jacq