[darkdesire94]

So basically I've been cutting for years and I suffer from depression. Lost my friends because of this behavior. I'm going on vacation soon to an island and I have to basically cover up everything cause I have so much scars. Old ones and new ones. I came to the realization I need help but idk how to get the help I need. I'm 20 years old and my dads a single parent. Telling him any of this will ruin him. I just feel stuck.

[Idiot17]

Impressed you came to the realization now, that takes something. Are you still in school/uni? If so can you reach out to a counselor there?
Good luck.

[darkdesire94]

Don't be too impressed cause one minute I think my behavior is no big deal and then the next minute my behavior makes me think. Im not in school. I've been avoiding it. I just don't have the energy to do anything. All I do is sleep. Nothing makes me happy anymore. :/

[LaborIntensive]

You will have to confront this at some point. Your dad may be shocked and hurt at first but you need to get help. Obviously something is eating at you and your dealing with it in an inappropriate way. If your still worried about your father you can try reaching out to social services as you are now legally an adult. They can help you with free or very low cost treatment/counseling.

[RunningInTheRain]

It's great that you are realizing that you need help. It will definitely be worth it. Telling someone about my depression and self harm (about three months ago) was one of the hardest things I have EVER had to do...but since then I've been seeing a therapist, I have lots of people supporting me, and I'm doing much better. So remember that it will be worth it in the end. Maybe you could see what your insurance covers in the way of therapy. You're an adult, so you could look into mental health services at your local hospital, or even make an appointment with your GP. Or, talk to your dad! The information might shock him at first...or it might not. I thought my parents would be shocked when they found out about me, but they weren't surprised at all. They said they'd expected it. So it very well might turn out just fine.

[darkdesire94]

I don't have insurance :/

[RunningInTheRain]

Maybe you could just contact the mental health department at your local hospital and see what your options for counseling might be?

[puzzclar]

You are old enough to find help on your own, are you not? Why does your Dad have to know? There are resources out there for you to get help. Check with agencies around where you live.

[darkdesire94]

What's the point anymore. idc.

[bronzeowl]

Originally Posted by darkdesire94

Don't be too impressed cause one minute I think my behavior is no big deal and then the next minute my behavior makes me think. Im not in school. I've been avoiding it. I just don't have the energy to do anything. All I do is sleep. Nothing makes me happy anymore. :/

That one minute where the behavior makes you think is a very important milestone in the journey to recovery. It's just a baby step right now, but trust me, one day you'll look back and realize just how important it was.

There usually are resources out there. I found a pamphlet at my local library with numbers one can call if finances are an issue. I wish you all the best. There is a point in trying to recover. It can be hard to see sometimes, but it's there.